


just one wrong move (baby, baby)

by alittleunstable



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: Alex and Lena brotp, Eliza basically adopts Lena straight away, F/F, Kidfic, Lena gets the family she deserves, alex still wants to kick ass while pregnant and DOES, family fic, maggie is overprotective as fuck, so is Kara omg
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-03-25
Updated: 2018-03-25
Packaged: 2018-12-03 07:17:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 36,121
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11527272
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/alittleunstable/pseuds/alittleunstable
Summary: Kara and Lena are just friends, really. That's all. Maybe if she repeated it enough Lena would believe that.(or, the one where there's an accident while Kara and Lena are at the DEO and now Lena's pregnant and they have no idea what they're going to do)/updated for the second time today cause why not I got time/





	1. Chapter 1

 

She's been feeling sick. 

Luthors' do not get sick. Ever. 

She stares at the little white stick and feels so anxious she thinks she might throw up. 

It's the size of one of those wooden sticks from the centre of an ice cream. Or a pen. Two things that were pretty insignificant in the grand scheme of things. How could something so- so /huge/ be so small? Her brain kickstarts, and she remembers that she was meant to be meeting her 1:00. She glances at the clock on the wall, 1:08, and decides she just doesn't care. If Jess comes looking then she absolutely will have to pull herself together and pretend nothing is wrong, but she hired her for a reason. Jess was incredibly adept at telling when Lena needed her day cleared, and surely she'd caught sight of her storming her way to her office earlier with terrified eyes and a fist clenched around the plastic handles of a blue pharmacy bag. 

Yes, she was sure. Jess would've already cleared her day by now. So she sits, mind devoid of an answer, at the two little pink lines that claim she is pregnant, and berates herself for not getting more than just one test. She'd naturally just assumed there was no way she was pregnant, so the test was mostly just so she could rule it out herself and figure out what was really making her sick. Because the doctor was wrong, this morning. There was something wrong with his test. And there's something wrong with this one too. Because...because it isn't possible.

She hasn't had sex with anyone since she moved to National City.

Lena spends a long time after that just wondering if this is the universe's cruel joke, some kind of test or if she's finally losing it. Really it's astounding she's made it this far without snapping, Lex was around the same age as she is now when he went mad, surely she's overdue?

A timid knock on the door sends her jerking upwards in her seat, and she glances around the ensuite as if to get answers from the empty space around her. It takes a few seconds to realise that she's not getting anywhere with that. 

"Lena?" 

Kara. Oh, Jesus. 

"Ah," Lena looks around frantically for somewhere to stash the test, box and plastic bag, coming up empty much to her own frustration, "just a moment Kara, I'll be right out." She gives up and straightens her clothes, rakes her fingers through her hair to tidy it (running her fingers through her hair stressfully hadn't been great for maintaining the styled look). She cracks the door open the absolute minimum needed to allow her to slip through, sidesteps out and neatly shuts it behind her.

"Are you okay?" Kara asks softly, "Jess said you were having a rough day when I got here- I've been waiting out here for a while, I got worried." 

Lena's heart melts against her will and she finds herself forcing a sad attempt at her usual smile. "I...I'm not really sure. I guess I'm going to have to figure that out." 

"Anything I can help with?"

"No, no. This is...well, I honestly don't think you'd believe me anyway." She sighs, rolls her shoulders to loosen the muscles there. She may as well just hold up a sign that says, 'I've finally lost it.' Kara's nose scrunches up in disbelief and her eyebrows furrow at Lena, eyes probing.

"Hey, that's not true." A hand curls around Lena's shoulder, rubbing gently in an attempt to comfort her. Lena feels sick again. She decides it must be the stress. "You know I always believe in you. You can tell me anything."

Lena opens her mouth, only to instantly regret it the second a more intense wave of nausea washes over her. She holds up a finger at Kara, tight lipped, and receives a confused frown in response. She turns on her heel and just tries desperately to keep swallowing. She closes the ensuite door behind her again, locks it, and barely even makes it to the toilet before it starts, and hell if it isn't the most relieving thing to let it go.

"Oh my Rao, Lena, let me in!" Kara gasps from outside the door, and Lena's glad she locked the door if Kara is willing to come take care of her while she's vomiting because the evidence of her condition is just overwhelming from where she's sitting. She's stopped vomiting now, but she's still doing the occasional dry heave. Tiny beads of sweat line her face, where it is positioned with her cheek pressed against the porcelain, allowing the chill from  
It to cool her face. Her breathing is still heavy, uncomfortable, and she can hear Kara trying to open the door without breaking it, with no luck.

"Come on," Kara's voice is soft now, pained, "please let me help you, Lena. /please/." 

And just like that Lena's resolve breaks. She doesn't recognise her own hoarse voice as she whimpers out an, "okay," and then she pulls herself up, no small achievement at all, considering her shaking legs and the way the world was currently refusing to stay still right now. By some miracle she manages to unlock the door, and then unceremoniously, she collapses into Kara's arms. Kara catches her easily and takes her full weight into her arms like it's nothing, and Lena makes a mental note to check out her arms again next time she wears a tank top- doubtful that it'd be soon, as it was early winter, but it was something to look forward to. 

"Rao," Kara mumbles into Lena's hair, and Lena wonders not for the first time what the hell that means. "You're burning up, we need to get you to the doctor-"

"Jus' wen' bis morning," Lena's words take too much effort to expel, and they still end up muffled by Kara's sweater. 

"To the doctor? Didn't he tell you what's wrong?" Kara asks earnestly, tightening her arms slightly around Lena. 

"Yes," Lena says sourly, and attempts to pull back from Kara, but the taller girl isn't having it and her arms become Lena's cage for the time being. Kara forces her to meet her eyes, and Lena sighs, figuring the easiest option is for Kara to see for herself, so she gestures vaguely in the direction of where she's left the rest on the floor and Kara's gaze follows her hand and locks on to the little innocuous stick on the floor, almost but not quite blending in with the off white tile. 

Kara doesn't even move closer, she just stares at it and her jaw drops, indicating she's figured out what's going on. Lena takes the opportunity to snuggle into her because she feels like crap and she just really wants a hug right now. 

"Oh. Oh you're...oh." 

"Yeah. Oh." Lena begrudgingly agrees.

"Who...I mean, the..." Kara's eyebrows knit together in confusion and Lena feels exactly how Kara looks.

"I don't know." Lena means, of course, that she doesn't know how she's pregnant at all. She has no clue how she has come to this predicament. 

"That's okay," Kara says too quickly, not noticing the look painting Lena's face in reaction to that that clearly stated, 'no, it's not.' "If you don't want to figure it out either that's okay too. I mean, I can help you and-"

"Kara, I haven't slept with anyone. At all. For a year." 

Kara's facial expression is almost comical, wide eyes, lips parted in surprise. Lena wishes she could just laugh and relax. 

"Then-you-but...Oh, Rao," Kara groans, and her head drops into her hands as she pulls away from Lena and starts to pace. "I think I know what happened," She says, words muffled by her hands. 

"What?" Lena's eyes widen, glad for any explanation that isn't just 'you're nuts, Lena,' "Tell me, Kara!"

Kara pulls her hands from her face and winces, "Well, see, the thing is..." her hands flounder around her face for a minute, and then she flops herself down on the floor and sighs, dropping her hands into her lap in resignation. "Do you remember that alien tech that we found in the rubble of one of the Daxamite ships?" 

//://

Four weeks earlier  
\--

"So, whaddaya think it is?" 

Kara shrugs, twirling the little glowing blue metal box in her hands, "Iunno," she mumbles, curiously pulling at the side.

"Whoa hey!" Winn pulls it from her hand and shakes his head at her, "don't play with it, you could like-start an explosion or something." 

Lena hides a smile, watching Kara whine that she was just looking as she approaches. "You called?" She beams at Winn and Kara in equal measure, and Winn grins back holding out his fist. She bumps it, rolling her eyes.

"Lena!" Kara grins, and throws herself at the other woman, "you have no idea how good it is to see you." 

Lena imagines what it'd be like if Kara had said that under other circumstances, that weren't just we need you cause we're stuck on something. "It's good to see you too, Kara," she manages to get out despite the tightness of Kara's hug. "Can't breathe." She adds a second later, and Kara jerks away from her in horror.

"Oh god, I'm so sorry. It's harder to remember to be careful when I'm in the super suit," Kara admits, "It's easier when I'm just plain Kara Danvers and not Supergirl."

"There's nothing plain about Kara Danvers," Lena frowns, but Kara doesn't say anything more on it so she decides for now, she'll let it go. "So, Winn, what have we got?"

He holds the box out to her and she holds it up to get a better look. "It's...just a box?" She asks after a second, when the box does nothing noteworthy except glow.

"Yeah." Winn says, "but it's from the Daxamite ships, so it's probably something important."

Her face drops at the mention of the Daxamites and in her haste to get the box away from her she fumbles with it, dropping it only seconds before Winn reaches out to take it back. Nothing happens, at first, but the three of them stare down at the box in shock.

"Oh." Kara says after a minute, "guess it really is just a box." She reaches down and picks it up, not noticing the glow beginning to change colour from blue to pink. It starts to rattle in her hand and Winn and Lena both reach out instinctively to protect her, grabbing the box on either side. 

And then it just, stops. 

"That was so weird." Winn mutters, and Lena nods her head in concerned agreement. 

"Maybe we should...take it to Alex? She and Lena probably have a better chance at figuring this out then the two of us do." Kara suggests, and Lena finds herself nodding frantically. Anything to get Kara away from Daxamite tech is a good idea to her. 

...

Now.

\--

"See the thing is, after you left that day Maggie came by. And now Alex is pregnant too. I was going to tell you today, I just didn't realise...It's the device Rhea was going to use on you and ...Mon-El. In the absence of a growth pod it just created the baby inside of Alex. And I guess, now, inside of you." 

Lena feels like her limbs are made of stone. "I...we..." it's clear to her what's happened, easily she can recall the brush of her fingers against Kara's while she was holding the pink box. 

"God, Winn is going to freak out." Kara breathes, and Lena's pulled from her own freaking out to wonder what the hell she's talking about. 

"Why?" 

"You're having his baby, you don't think that's going to freak him out?" 

"Kara..." To be completely honest, Lena hadn't considered that, but if she thought about it, she touched Kara and the box before he did. Otherwise... Lena winces at the thought of Kara pregnant with Winn's baby. Because that's most definitely the only other thing that could have ended up happening. No, no, she's absolutely certain this baby is not his. It takes her that long to realise that means the baby is Kara's, for it to really hit her, and she sinks down to the floor next to Kara. 

"Yeah?" 

Lena remains silent, nowhere near ready to say the truth out loud. Her hands fold unconsciously around her stomach, and she wonders idly how much longer she can get away with her usual business attire, how long until she'll need to get her clothing specially made, will have to put up with snide comments from male colleagues during board meetings. How long until she can't pretend it's not happening anymore. 

That's when Kara's arms curl around her, pulling her in close. She lets her head fall on Kara's shoulder, and she closes her eyes and leans her body weight on her, sinking into the warmth Kara's body offers. 

"It's yours, you must have realised." She doesn't open her eyes when she says it, isn't sure she wants to see Kara's reaction to this. A super and a Luthor being best friends is one thing, a Super and a Luthor having a baby together were another thing entirely. 

"I guess it took me way too long to figure that out, huh?" Kara admits sheepishly, fingers absently tracing patterns into Lena's arm. "I'm so sorry, Lena." 

"I've never really..." Lena pauses, huffs out a breath and turns her face slightly to look at Kara. "I've always wanted a child. But I also never wanted one." 

Kara looks utterly befuddled at that. "What?"

"Lillian was...well, she was Lillian, there's no other word that explains her. I didn't want to become her, if I had a child one day. So I decided not to."

Kara's face softens, and she pulls Lena in tighter, shaking her head, "no, Lena, no. You are not your mother. We've talked about this, you're not her. You never will be, I know you. You're good, and kind, and honest. You will be a good mother." She emphasises, one hand pulling away from Lena's waist to tuck Lena's hair behind her ear, and then remaining there for a beat too long. They stare at each other, faces too close and bodies entangled and Lena thinks, maybe, but then the moment shatters with the sound of Jess's voice on the intercom, muffled through the ensuite door but a reality check nonetheless.

Kara clears her throat, looks away awkwardly. "You know, if that's what you want to do. I won't make you do anything, you can...make it go away, if you want to." She looks pained to say it, and It hits Lena that Kara is the last daughter of Krypton. Of course this baby must already mean the world to her, and yet she's still leaving it up to Lena. Lena's heart swells and she reaches out and grabs hold of Kara's hand. 

"I think, of all the accidents that have happened since I moved to National City, this one is the scariest." She watches as Kara's face falls and she opens her mouth to say something, but Lena holds up her free hand to stop her. "But if you're willing, then so am I." 

Kara seems frozen, and Lena frowns in concern.

"Kara? Kara, are you alright?"

Kara shakes herself out and then slowly, a smile spreads itself across her cheeks, and she pulls Lena forwards so fast that the shorter woman has to catch herself on Kara's shoulders. "We're having a baby," she says, awe in her voice. "You and I, we're gonna be parents."

Lena can barely believe that she's smiling back with just as much excitement.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Now that they've figured out what's going on, it's time to start planning.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've been completely overwhelmed by the positive response from everybody! Thank you so much to every single person who left kudos and comments, I tried to reply to all of them! You guys are amazing and you really just made my week. I hope this chapter lives up to how much you enjoyed the last one!

Kara takes a moment to just breathe in before she calls Alex. This whole situation is crazy, she'd never have thought this could happen, and while she is completely terrified (it's a baby, a tiny human that's half Kara half Lena, a baby that is theirs, together) she's also kind of excited. They're going to be parents and when it comes down to it, Kara can't think of a single person she'd rather do this with than Lena. To think, a new kryptonion in the world, from a Luthor's womb. She can only imagine how Clark will react to the news, let alone Lex. The thought of Lex sends shivers down her spine- she'll have to become Lena's personal bodyguard from now on. Not that she hasn't kind of become that already. 

Kara glances over her shoulder as she hits the call button on her phone and holds it tight to her ear. Lena's sitting at her desk, Jess standing in front of her and passing her a few documents, while the two point at different segments, looking irritated. Kara knows she could just listen in, of course she could, but Lena's just trying to maintain some level of normalcy in her life and she doesn't feel right. Even though she really does look distressed. 

"Hey, Kara. What's up?" 

She jerks, having almost forgotten she's called Alex, and drags her eyes away from Lena to the wall in front of her. 

"Oh, uh...some stuff has sort of happened," she tries for nonchalant, staring at the obscure painting on the wall in front of her like it's the most interesting thing in the world. What the heck is that even meant to be? She tilts her head, but the orange and blue blobs remain without explanation.

"Some stuff already happened, so this had better be important stuff because I'm about to be checked out by the DEO physician." 

Kara's eyes light up with an idea and she turns a little to look back at Lena, who's actually smiling now, and nodding at something that Jess has said. That's better, she thinks, hating to be the cause of anything remotely upsetting when it came to Lena. Lena deserved to be happy, all the time, 24/7, in Kara's professional best friend opinion. "Hey can Lena come too?" 

There's silence on the other end, well, except for Maggie in the background, who is definitely flipping out a bit. 

"Kara. Why do you want Lena to come? Cause if this is about the whole best friends do everything together thing you said the other night, this is not one of those things." 

"Funny story, actually," Kara nervously giggles, pushing her glasses up her nose a little too hard and watching a lens crack much to her dismay. She'll have to ask the DEO to replace them, she doesn't make much as a reporter and it's not like they'll want her to look any more like Supergirl than she already does. "Lena's pregnant too. It's mine. The baby, uh, not Lena." 

Again, there is a long pause, and she can hear Alex whispering to Maggie before there is a choked laugh. Not two seconds later, Alex is laughing too.

"Guys! Why are you laughing? This is the opposite of funny!" Kara whimpers, but this only seems to add fuel to the fire. "I hate you so much." 

"No, no," Alex laughs, "You're right, it's the opposite of funny. It's just also /really/ funny. God, I need a drink." 

"You can't drink!" Kara hears Maggie yell so loudly it nearly hurts her ears, even through the receiver. Sometimes she curses her enhanced hearing.

"I know!" Alex groans. "Alright, get Lena down here. We've got a long eight months ahead of us."

Kara pivots to face Lena and Jess, both looking at her in amusement, and she makes a face at them. "I'll see you soon then." As she hangs up, she comes to stand beside Jess across from Lena. 

"How did she take it?" Lena sounds extremely nervous, and looks it too, her teeth sunk slightly into her lower lip and her hand clasping the papers for dear life. Kara reaches out and places her hand over Lena's, feeling her grip loosen and electing to ignore the heat that floods her face in response.

"It's going to be fine, Lena." She realises her mistake a second later when both women raise an eyebrow at her. 

"How is it going to be fine?" Jess asks, crossing her arms and levelling a rather stern gaze at Kara. The super wonders if Lena even knows what a friend she has in Jess, if she thinks this is how normal assistants act, though she's sure Lena has no clue. She's fairly oblivious for being one of the most intelligent people in National City. 

"We'll figure it out," Kara decides, and watches as Lena's face doesn't even falter, still looking anxious as can be. "I promise, Lena. She loves me, and she's said nothing but good things about you lately."

"Lately?" Lena asks, eyes widening. "Oh, god."

Jess glares at Kara, rolling her eyes at her slip up. "Miss Luthor, I know it's not my place, but I think what Kara is /trying/ to say, is give it a chance. Don't worry too much about it yet."

Kara gives Jess a grateful nod. "That's exactly what I meant. We should get going soon, if that's okay. Unless you're like super busy, which is fine cause you're a CEO and you're always busy and I really should've asked you first before I told Alex we were coming. Oh Rao, I'm being such a jerk right now." She gasps, fiddling with the hem of her sweater and looking at Lena much akin to a kicked puppy. She feels so rude not having thought of Lena's schedule, she's an important woman and she probably doesn't have time to go for last minute excursions, considering they mostly see each other on Lena's lunch break and after work. 

Lena just chuckles and shakes her head. "It's alright, Kara. This is important, and yes, the Wayne contract is too, but he can wait. Especially considering we need to talk to him about this contract anyway, it's definitely not acceptable." She places the papers - now slightly scrunched at the corner- down, and nods to Jess. "You can go home Jess, we'll just need to make tomorrow a more productive day."

"Of course Miss Luthor." Jess takes the papers, evens them and places them back into the folder she'd brought them into the office in. "Good luck. I hope everything goes well." She's half way to the door when she pauses, dark braid swinging as she turns back to them. "Congratulations, in any case. You'll be a great Mom." 

Lena gapes after her, astounded, "Did she just say-"

"The truth? Yes. Let's go." 

 

...

 

Maggie Sawyer looks like she's going to pull her hair out.

It's the first thing Lena observes when she enters the room at the DEO, Kara's hand curled snugly around her own -which is a whole seperate issue of its own, because it feels to Lena a lot like she's playing house with her best friend and if anything goes wrong she could lose her forever. That's sort of painful to think about- and Kara gestures to the seat next to Alex. 

The older Danvers looks up at her warily, takes an ambitious bite of her chocolate bar, and slumps in her chair. They settle into comfortable silence while Kara goes over to Maggie, who's mumbling under her breath and got a notebook and pen in her hands, frantically scrawling something down every few seconds.

Again, Maggie looks like she's going to pull her hair out. 

"We're engaged," Alex says after a moment, and looks back at Lena, concern on her face. "But it's still a big step for us. How are you taking this?" 

Lena thinks about that for a moment and finds she has no idea. Apart from being scared out of her mind, that is. "She's my best friend," she says, finally, and Alex nods, hums, and then fumbles with her pocket.

"I'm not allowed to have the drink I really want right now." She grumbles, before she finds what she's been looking for and pulls another chocolate bar out of her pocket. "Want one? I've got a whole candy store in there." 

Lena looks at her, surprised, and then takes the peace offering. "Thank you, Alex." She doesn't admit that the thought of chocolate makes her a little nauseous, because it's the gesture that's important, not whether or not she actually wants it.

"Anytime. You've got my niece or nephew in there." She gestures vaguely at Lena's whole body and then they both wince together. "Sorry." 

"It's fine." Lena says, and unwraps the chocolate bar to take a small bite, despite her reservations. If she ends up throwing it up she still won't regret it, because she's pretty sure she and Alex are /bonding/. They watch as Kara and Maggie have a heated discussion, Kara gesturing wildly and Maggie shaking her head and pointing to her notebook with her pen. "What do you think that's about?"

"Other than the obvious?" Alex asks with a raised eyebrow, and Lena blushes a little, embarrassed. "Probably trying to figure out how we're going to make this work. I'd talk to Maggie myself, but she said she just wants to get the start of a plan down and then...then she started doing that." 

"I see."

"Kara looks alright." Alex notes, and kicks a leg over the side of her chair on the opposite side of Lena, sliding into what Lena imagines is a more comfortable position. "You guys already go over this stuff?"

"Um, no, actually, we sketched out a general kind of thing- we decided that obviously she'll need to move in with me-"

"Why can't you move in with her?" Alex frowns, looking slightly panicked. For a second Lena thinks it's because she's a Luthor, but one look at Alex's face tells her that it's most likely just far too much change far too quickly for the eldest Danvers. 

"It's too small," she explains, trying not to sound too sympathetic, she may not know Alex that well, she does know her well enough to know she'd hate Lena feeling sorry for her. "I have a spare bedroom at my place, it just makes more sense."

"I guess." Alex sighs, resigned. "Where the hell even is your place? I've never seen it and Kara says she's never been." 

Lena wonders when Kara mentioned that, because they've come straight from Lena's office to the DEO, so that Lena could get checked out properly with Alex. Also just so that neither of them had to go through this alone, which was sweet of Kara to think of. It makes her feel a little bad honestly, she'd have invited Kara over if it weren't for the fact that Lena was almost always working. 

"It's not far from L-Corp, just a few blocks from the central business district. You're welcome whenever you like, Alex. Just because Kara's moving in doesn't mean you have to see her any less." 

That gets a small, grateful smile from Alex, and the two fall back into a comfortable quiet while they eat their chocolate bars and watch their respective baby daddy's flounder. 

Kara comes back to her side after giving Maggie a hug, and smiles at the two of them with something like pride. "You two seem to be getting along pretty well."

Alex grins at her. "Lena's alright." She says, nudging Lena with her shoulder much to the younger woman's shock. Lena can't help the lip splitting beam that appears on her face and looks at Kara triumphantly. Kara laughs. "Well, I better go check on my fiancé before she starts planning which preschool to apply to."

"Oh...she's already done that. Sunny Start in Midvale-"

"She what? Oh my god." Alex bounds out of her chair and to Maggie's side, exasperated. 

"So." Lena says, cheeks red and hands clasped tight around the remnants of her chocolate. She can feel it melting under her warm grip through the wrapper. 

"So." Kara agrees, twiddling her thumbs, glasses sliding down her nose slightly. Lena has to ignore the urge to push them up for her. That would be weird, friends don't do that. That's weird. Right? She can't help but wonder how Kara got that crack in the bottom of her left glasses Lena though, as the girl is usually so careful with her strength. She tries to remember if it was there when they were still at the office and finds she can't.

"This shouldn't be awkward, between us." She decides, and Kara nods; looking sheepish. "We're having a baby, it's not the weirdest thing that could happen." Kara raises an eyebrow. "Alright, It's weird." She acquiesces. "But it's us, Kara. We can do this."

"You're right. We can. Also, we're applying for Sunny Start too."

"Oh my god." Lena groans, just as exasperated as Alex, "Kara, it might not even be a good idea for our child to go to preschool at all."

"What? Why? No, Lena," Kara pouts, sliding into the chair that Alex no longer occupied and reaching over to take Lena's hands. It's seconds later that she realises that she's stuck her fingers directly into the melted chocolate, and she pulls away, surprised, only to lick it off her fingers quite happpily. Lena puts the chocolate down on the side table, amused. 

"Because, Kara, he or she will be half kryptonion." 

Kara frowns, "I know that. I don't see the problem." 

Lena sighs, rolls her eyes. "Kara you may have grown up on Krypton where you had no powers but this baby will grow up here. /with/ them." 

Kara's jaw drops slightly and she holds onto the end of her pony tail, looking remarkably like Maggie had when they'd walked in. "Oh. Oh no." Just like that Kara launches into panic mode, runs over to Maggie and takes her notebook, frantically writing things down herself. Alex and Maggie stare at her with raised eyebrows. Lena gets up to follow her, making out the words 'lead' and 'reinforced windows' muttered under Kara's breath as she writes.

"Just realised the baby's going to have powers, huh?" Maggie asks Lena, amused. 

"Yep." 

Alex's phone blinks to life, bright with a photograph of a blonde woman who looks enough like Alex for Lena to safely assume it's Eliza Danvers. That, and the fact the display says 'mom'.

"Hoo, boy." Alex whimpers, looking very much like somebody's lit her on fire. "I can't answer that." 

"Alex," Maggie says softly, wrapping her arms around the taller woman. "It's okay. Really, you need to answer that."

"But..."

"Alex." Kara adds sternly, suddenly tuning back into her surroundings and looking up from her frantic scrawling to re join the conversation. "Eliza deserves to know."

"About you too!" Alex tries, pointing her finger. "And Lena!"

"And I'm going to call her about it tonight, but she's calling you now. I'm here if you need help."

"We all are." Lena's hesitant to say anything at all, knowing she's not really part of this- well, she is and she isn't at the same time. Clearly Alex is afraid of disappointing her mother, a feeling Lena is pretty familiar with. 

Alex runs a hand through her hair and taps the answer call button, holding the phone up to her ear with clenched teeth. "Hi, Mom."

"Hey Eliza!" Kara chirps into the back of the receiver. 

They talk about the weather for a few minutes, much to Maggie's amusement, as the cop snorts at Alex asking if the weather was different over there and if so, could she please elaborate because it was important. Which, of course led to Eliza asking if Alex was feeling okay.

"See the thing is," she begins, and Lena is reminded very much of Kara, "there was this accident, at the lab, and Kara knocked up Lena."

"Hey!" Kara gasps, indignant. "Maggie knocked you up too!" 

Apparently Eliza hasn't said anything because a moment later, Alex whispers, "Mom, are you there?" Which is followed by a series of agreements, ranging from 'yes' to 'anything you want'. She hangs up with a grim expression, matched with Kara's.

"So what's going on?" Maggie asks the question plaguing Lena's mind.

"Eliza's coming here. Tomorrow morning." Kara explains, and the sister's share twin fearful looks.

Lena can't help but feel just as scared. She's never met Eliza, but from the stories she hears from Kara, she knows she's an amazing woman and a great mother, and she can't help but think of all of the many ways she will fall short when it comes to Eliza's expectations. She's a Luthor, which may alone make the woman hate her. She winces and subtly moves the slightest bit closer to Kara.

"Alex Danvers?" 

They all turn in unison to face the doctor, who's too busy flipping through her clipboard to notice all the faces looking at her. 

"That's me." Alex sighs, and the woman looks up, smiles brightly and reaches out her hand to shake. Alex takes it, forcing a smile back.

"I'm Doctor Katz, I'll be taking care of you throughout your pregnancy." Her eyes scan the rest of them and she glances back at her clipboard, confused, before nodding and looking back up. "Which one of you is Lena Luthor?" 

Lena tentatively raises her hand, caught off guard by the question and the fact that Kara's arms have curled back around her, hand rubbing comforting circles into her back. 

"Nice to meet you, Miss Luthor. I'll bring you in next. Miss Danvers?" She gestures to Exam Room 5, and Alex gets up, roughly grabs Maggie's wrist to pull her along and makes a sour face at Kara and Lena as she follows the doctor. 

Kara giggles into the shell of Lena's ear, and it strikes Lena that she hadn't even noticed her getting so close. She's very much wrapped up in Kara, and it's warm and comfortable and /safe/, so she just snuggles her back into Kara'a front and allows herself a cautious smile. This might not be as scary as she originally thought, if Kara's going to be glued to her the whole time.

"Are you okay?"

She's not, not entirely at least. she's feeling like her world has tipped off its axis and she's somehow been lucky enough to fall into the same place as Kara.

"Yes, I'm okay."

"Good," Kara murmurs, arms tightening almost subtly around her. "I'm here. If you need anything."

"This is good." Lena says, almost accidentally, and she waits a minute for Kara to ask why, or get scared, but the other woman just smiles and turns her head into Lena's neck. 

After being given a full bill of health, Lena and Kara make their way to Lena's apartment together for the first time. They sit in the back of Lena's car, partition drawn and sitting further away than they have since they found out. It's peculiar, Lena thinks, how quickly she got used to Kara's close proximity, to the point that she's now uncomfortable with Kara being at a distance that used to be considered normal to her. Kara's watching the buildings pass outside the frostbitten window, a pensive expression painted across her soft features, and it worries Lena a little bit. 

"What are you thinking about?" She wonders aloud, and Kara tilts her head slightly, eyes still focused out the window. 

"Alex and Maggie," She explains, eyebrows knitting together as she finally draws her eyes away from the window and to Lena. "They're both government, in a way, and Alex is really worried. Babies are expensive." 

Lena grins. A problem she can solve, at last. "I hope it's okay to say this, but I'm happy to help with their expenses. They'll be family soon enough." She hasn't really given that much thought before now, and she's a little scared that Kara will disagree with that. She's surprised at how much she wants them to be family, how much she wants a family in general. She's always kind of thought she'd spend her life alone, maybe with a few dogs. It was sad to think about, yes, she'd been resigned to that future.

Kara's eyes are burning holes into Lena then, and she shifts uncomfortably under the weight of her gaze. "You'd do that?" 

"Kara, you have to know I'd do anything for you." She winces at the truth of the statement, sure that Kara will see right through her. Kara just slowly smiles, and shifts in her seat to face Lena fully. 

"You're amazing, Lena." 

Lena would argue that out of the two of them, Kara definitely outshines her any day, she knows better than to say as much though. Every time she's mentioned anything vaguely alluding to her feelings on that, Kara has emphatically and strongly disagreed. 

"I just want to help is all." Lena says, cheeks flushed and a bashful smile on her face, which is abruptly wiped clean by a whole new wave of nausea. Her face scrunches in response and she looks out the window to see how far they were, it'd be pretty unseemly of her, being a Luthor and a CEO, to wind the window down and empty her stomach into the middle of rush hour traffic. Not to say she isn't considering it at this point, though.

"You okay?"

She presses her head to the cool glass of the window, knowing full well she's probably got a temperature, and she feels more than sees Kara undo her seatbelt and come to sit across from her. "Are we far from your place now?" She asks softly, pulling Lena's hair back from where it had fallen over her face. 

"Mmm." Is all Lena can manage in response, and Kara, quick thinking as she is, knocks on the partition and tells the driver to pull over. If Lena could thank Tomas, she would, but she's pretty incapable of anything except urgently swallowing. She's rushed out of the car too quickly to realise that Kara's holding her bridal style, and then they're in the bathroom of a Chinese restaurant and Kara's holding Lena's hair back while she throws up. 

It's disgusting. But it's also comforting to have someone next to her, tying her hair back with the tie that had previously resided in Kara's own hair, and then rubbing her shoulders. Nobody's ever taken care of her when she's been ill before, not even when she was a child, and it's such a huge change. She's always wondered what it would be like if someone actually cared when she wasn't well, heard others talk about their mother's fondly when they were sick and couldn't quite comprehend it. Being held by her best friend shouldn't feel like the closest she's ever come to love. Right? 

"Better?" Kara asks, grabbing some of the toilet paper in a bunch, wetting it at the sink and gently wiping Lena's mouth clean. 

"Yes, so much." Lena offers a grateful smile and pulls herself up, flushing the toilet and moving to wash her hands. "How did you get them to let you use the bathroom without buying anything?" 

"Oh." Kara blushes and grins, "told them you were pregnant. Also, I come here all the time, I'm friends with the owner." 

"Of course," Lena chuckles, wishing she had a toothbrush. "Is Tomas waiting outside?" 

Kara squints in the direction of the door for a second, raising her glasses, and then nods. "Yup. He seems nice." 

"He's a lifesaver. The amount of times he's picked me up on a seconds notice." She marvels, shaking her head. 

"You know...Jess seems to really care about you too." It shows on Kara's face that even she isn't sure where that came from, and Lena raises an eyebrow in question.

"She's the best assistant I've ever had," She answers, despite her confusion. 

"Oh yeah, I know," Kara agrees, but her face is still twisted in a frown. "But I mean, you have more friends than you seem to think, is all." 

"Right." Lena says, voice full of disbelief. Lena pays Jess to care, that's all it is. Nobody actually wants to be friends with a Luthor, not after what Lex and Lillian have both done. Well, except Kara for some reason Lena still can't quite fathom. 

Kara seems to know that Lena doesn't want to talk more on the matter and nods to herself, sighing, before holding a hand out to her. "Ready to get going?" 

"Oh, yes. Shall we?" She takes the offered hand and hides her smile at how hot Kara always seems to run, amused at the thought that she's probably got more of a temperature than Lena does right now. 

They make it the rest of the way to Lena's apartment without further incident, and the second they walk through the door to the Penthouse Kara's jaw drops and her eyes widen. Lena watches in excitement, waiting for Kara to speak.

"Oh, I can't live here." She says finally, and Lena's heart sinks. She'd definitely not expected that. Her own eyes scan the apartment searchingly, trying to figure out what about it Kara hated and coming up empty.

"What's wrong with it? We can change whatever it is, I'm sure that won't be a problem-"

"No, Lena, this place is /too nice/." Kara starts wringing her hands, and takes a step back. "I could break literally anything here, and it wouldn't be okay cause it's probably expensive!" 

Relief washes over Lena and she just shakes her head, chuckling. "Kara, its fine. There's nothing I have that I can't replace-" except you, she thinks, "You don't need to worry about that. I promise you."

"Are you sure?" Kara asks, worry clear on her face. "Because even though I'm Supergirl I really don't make much-"

"The only thing that would upset me is if you chose not to live here for such a silly reason. I want you here."

"You do?"

Lena feels like rolling her eyes would probably not help the situation, so she just smiles and tentatively holds out her arms, hoping Kara will take the hint and move closer. She does, warming her heart as she moves. 

"We could do this from seperate homes, if that's what you want," she admits, hating the thought of it, "But I would much rather do this together. We're having a child, and I would very much prefer it to have two hands on parents who are working together. Living together, unless you really don't want to be here with me." She can't hide the way her voice breaks at that, revealing just how insecure she is about this whole thing. 

"I want that too." Kara's smile is blinding, and then her whole body lights up as she notices something. "You have a balcony here too! That's super convenient. Heh, get it? Super?" She grins, big and cheesy as she waits for the laugh that follows seconds later. Lena doesn't tell her that's a recent addition to the apartment. Doesn't tell her that the second Kara told her that she was Supergirl she started on the renovation. 

"Yes, yes, you're hilarious Kara," Lena laughs, rolling her eyes. "Let's figure out what we're going to do with the spare room for you, I can have your bedroom furniture brought here, and we can find a place for the rest of it of course because it's both of our home, not just mine and I want you to feel that way." 

She's just as confused as Kara looks when the other woman does a double take, startled. 

"What is it? Did I overstep?" Lena hopes to god that she didn't, but one look at Kara says she absolutely must have. 

"No, I just...well I thought...nevermind, it's stupid." Kara flounders with her hands and then awkwardly shrugs. 

"I'm sure it wasn't stupid." Lena disputes, crossing her arms. "What's wrong?"

"I kind of assumed the spare room was gonna be the nursery?" Kara frowns, looking embarrassed. Lena purses her lips, a little confused at that. If the spare room was the nursery where on earth would Kara sleep? The second it hits her Kara's face flushes and she bites her lip.

"You thought..." She was completely taken aback. Kara would be okay with that? With sharing a room for the foreseeable future? Why did the thought of that make her heart race and her mind fill with things that really shouldn't be there? 

"Yeah. Told you it was stupid." Kara twiddled her thumbs nervously and Lena makes the decision that Kara shouldn't be uncomfortable about this. 

"That's probably a smarter decision. I suppose we can't just make the living area a nursery after all, it'd be ridiculous. No, you're right. The spare room will be the nursery then. As long as you're sure you're comfortable with that?"

"Yes!" Kara says, a little too quickly. "I mean, uh, yeah. Yeah I am. Comfortable with that. Here's me, being comfortable. Sharing a bed with you. Every night. Yep, comfortable." She rambles on for a moment before giggling a little, and tilting her head at Lena. "That didn't sound like I meant it but I am. Comfortable with that I mean. It'll be like having a sleepover every night." 

That does sound fun, Lena has to agree. Although she's never exactly had a sleepover, and she has a bad feeling about having one with Kara. Not that Kara isn't a great friend, because she is, it's just more...well, she's sure something will go wrong. And yet, the idea of Kara in her bed every night - maybe even cuddling her, God - is extremely pleasant and nobody ever said Lena wasn't selfish. 

"Perfect."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Shoutout to swanqueenfic13 and her amazing little Luthor series, hope you caught the reference!  
> 


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lena gets a surprise visitor and spends the entire day in a perpetual state of anxiety about Eliza's visit. Kara does her best to help her through it.

There's a steady hum in the apartment that fills the quiet, as Kara flips through her notebook (a gift from Maggie who seemed to have a whole library in her bag) to make sure she's factored in everything. There's no particular order to her list, the scrawled 'Crib' sitting on the same line as 'lead lined windows', and she can't help but feel frustrated. She doesn't know nearly enough about children to do this, should have realised as much from the beginning, but she'd so wanted this to work out that she hadn't considered it. Now, sitting on Lena's couch while Lena herself is sprawled across her lap, curled up with her head on one of the cushions and her back to Kara's front, she wonders why she didn't think about this. It's easier, with Lena asleep, to start overthinking things and panicking, and all Kara can think about is the single day she spent babysitting Carter that went horribly awry. 

How the heck is she supposed to raise a kid? Does Lena know more about this than she does, or is she using the famous Luthor indifference to exhibit otherwise? 

Kara sighs, picks her pen back up, and writes across the top of the page she's currently using 'There are books for this. We will be fine', though she's not sure who she's trying to convince. She takes a deep breath, and puts the notepad down on the arm of the sofa. Her gaze moves to Lena, looking the most peaceful Kara's ever seen her. Her hair's been pulled back in a loose bun, though wayward strands still manage to frame her face perfectly. Her lips are still painted red from earlier in the day, after all she'd said she was just resting her eyes while they were talking, and then fallen asleep seconds later. Kara doesn't have the heart to wake her. 

Her fingertips trace Lena's stomach, almost of their own will, and she feels familiar words and intonations itching at her lips to come through. She swallows the words back down. Now is not the time. Except, now, with Lena and also technically, their child in her lap...isn't it as good a time as any? 

Her hand feels warm where it falls flat against Lena, her heads a mess and her heart isn't much better. She whispers an old lullaby her mother used to sing to her, smiling when Lena shifts, rolling over slightly -a miracle that she doesn't fall off Kara altogether- enough for her to snuggle closer. She decides not to question why exactly it is that that makes her whole body feel like it's floating and her heart jump. 

Her phone roars to life, and in her haste to stop it from waking Lena she knocks it onto Lena's chest, though much to her surprise, she doesn't even seem to notice, too deep in slumber. She muses to herself that this is just evidence of how tired Lena must be, how easily she'd hidden it so that Kara hadn't realised. That's worrying on its own, considering it's taken her this long to become Lena's friend, now they're having a baby together and Lena can't even bring herself to say she needs to rest. Kara answers the phone, disgruntled to be distracted from the very important friend cuddling she's currently partaking in.

"What?" She asks in a hushed whisper, eyes still on Lena. The slope of her cheekbones, the curve of her lips- that doesn't mean anything though. They're best friends. Best friends who are having a baby together, even so. 

"We need you." J'onn tells her, in his typical no nonsense fashion. "There's a fire, a big one."

"Got it."

"I'll send you the location."

Kara is at loathe to leave Lena alone like this, it's not like she's moved in yet or anything, but she hates the idea of Lena waking alone and thinking Kara's abandoned her. Though, she thinks, almost laughing at herself, Lena's not stupid, she'll know why she's left. So, Kara gently gathers the smaller woman in her arms and carries her to bed, pulling the sheets back and sliding her beneath the blankets as though she were made of glass. She falters for a second, when she's half way to the door, biting her lip. She looks back at Lena and throws caution to the wind, coming over to press a gentle kiss to her forehead before she leaves. As friends do. You know how it is. 

...

Lena is baffled when Alex Danvers appears at her door in the early morning, a takeaway coffee carton in one hand and a bag filled with doughnuts in the other. In fact, Lena has not moved from the moment she opened the door and Alex had strode right into her living room, dropping her handbag on the dining table and pulling a cup from the holder to pass to her. 

"You alright, Luthor?" Alex asks after a long minute of her just holding the cup out. It snaps Lena out of her daze and she nods, cautiously.

"I am, yes. Is that coffee?" She can't help the hopeful lilt in her voice as she closes the door and comes to stand on the other side of the table. 

"Its decaf," Alex admits morosely. "Maggie's taking this pregnancy thing to a whole new level, I'm telling you. Take it, Lena, it's not poisoned or anything." She raises an eyebrow at Lena and strangely, Lena feels very much like a disobedient child, so she takes the offered cup and takes a sip. She can definitely tell the difference. 

What is Alex doing here? Kara hasn't returned since the fire, probably holed up in the DEO doing paperwork if her series of sad face emojis were telling. Yet, here is Alex, in her apartment, giving her decaf coffee and sitting at her table like she owns it. That's weird, isn't it? She can't remember the last time she spoke to Alex apart from yesterday, and before then it wasn't the friendliest of exchanges. 

"Kara's still out," she says, knowing full well that Alex must already know that. "I can have her call-"

"I'm here to see /you/." Alex rolls her eyes, though Lena thinks she sees a little bit of fear in them. Does she think Lena will throw her out? There's no way she'd ever do that. Strange or not, she's grateful for the company. "I know it's early but i figure you're probably leaving for work soon, so." 

Lena glances at the time, 7am, Alex isn't wrong, Lena's driver will be arriving in half an hour. "Thank you for the coffee." 

"No problem. Look, I know we aren't friends." Lena can't help but wince at Alex's blunt honestly. "But, you're the only other person I know who's pregnant. And Kara told me what you're planning to do for us and I...I wanted to thank you. A coffee and a doughnut don't make it even, I know, but it means a lot to us. Maggie was going to come too, I told her not to though. I figure that'd be a bit too much for you right now." Alex awkwardly picks at her doughnut as she talks, not meeting Lena's eyes until the last second, and Lena slides into the chair across from Alex and reaches for her own doughnut, unable to stop the small smile that stretches its way across her lips.

"It's the least I can do." Lena shrugs, suddenly annoyed at the fact she'd gone with a French braid today therefore making it impossible to hide behind her hair. She hadn't expected this, hadn't expected Alex at her door. 

"No, It's a lot. I wouldn't even accept it if we didn't really need it. I owe you." Alex frowns, knowing Lena's about to deny it, expertly changes the subject. "Kara tells me you've got really bad morning sickness already."

Lena lets out an irritated puff of breath. "You could say that." She grumbles. "You must be feeling much the same."

Alex makes a face that looks far too much like a smug smile for Lena's liking. "Not really. I mean, a little, but I just feel sick, I haven't actually thrown up, thank god."

Lena buries the envy that rises up swiftly, it's no use to be jealous of Alex, all pregnancies are different and surely there'll be something that Alex gets worse than Lena. Although nobody's ever said the world was fair. 

She levels Alex with a mock glare. "You're cruel, Agent Danvers." Her voice is laced with put on annoyance and thankfully, Alex laughs. 

"I never said I was gonna be nice." She grins, effectively settling the uneasiness in the room. Lena's overwhelming grateful for this visit, if she's honest, she's been extremely concerned about how all of this is going to work, but it seems that Alex is more than happy to give it a shot. "You're coming by with Kara tonight, right?" 

Lena's caught off guard by the question and it shows, her eyes wide and head tilted. "Coming by...the DEO?" 

"No, my place. Our Mom's landing in an hour, she wants to have dinner." Lena's blanking as to how this involves her, until Alex aims a pointed look at her abdomen. "She wants you there too, considering you're carrying one of her grand children and all that." 

Oh. Oh right, that. She can't believe that she's forgotten, even for a second that there's a life growing within her. Yesterday had been a long and stressful day though, so she supposes it makes sense that it hasn't all come back yet. Doesn't help that the coffee is decaf, and tastes as much too, she thinks, chagrined. 

"Oh. Yes, yes of course, I will be there." She nods, trying for assertive and instead giving off terrified. Alex shifts in her seat, rests her head on her hand, while she pops the last of her doughnut in her mouth and chews, perturbed.

"Lena. Don't worry, she'll like you. You're not completely awful. I'm starting to like you myself." 

Her heart leaps and her eyes widen at that. "You like me?" Disbelief colours her tone as she asks, embarrassed at how much she wants that to be true, yet she finds the concept of Alex actually wanting to be around her baffling. 

"Duh. I gotta get going now though. Dinner's at 7, Kara knows the way." She slings her bag over her shoulder and awkwardly extends her arm to pat Lena's shoulder on her way out. "Have a good day at work doing...whatever it is that you do." Then she's just gone, disappearing as quickly as she had appeared, and Lena's completely dumbstruck. She glances at her watch and sees her driver's due in a few minutes, and gathers her things, dazed by what just happened, a pleasant feeling settling itself in her chest. 

She rides in silence after greeting Thomas, staring at the line of eye roll emojis sent to her from Kara, with an accompanying, 'paperwork is boring, help!' She chuckles to herself and types back a simple, 'most of my work is paperwork, and unfortunately, there's no shortcuts.' To which Kara sends back an angry face emoji. 

The day moves quickly, several meetings that usually would feel as though they go on for years at a time flying by as Lena is half inside of her own head, thinking about her baby - Kara's baby - their baby? - the baby, anyway, coming to the conclusion that her apartment is going to need some serious baby proofing, fixating on the fact that most of her Christmas tree ornaments are glass or porcelain and would it even be safe to have a tree around a baby? Christmas was a joyless occasion when she was growing up and thinking about a Christmas filled with family, a son or daughter and /Kara/ is just...it's breathtaking. Lena is glaringly aware of the fact that she's getting ahead of herself, only, how could she not? There's an actual chance of happiness in her future and she's going to hold onto that as tightly as she can. Luckily, Lena only needs to excuse herself twice to use the bathroom for, well, less than pleasant reasons over the course of the morning.

Her lunch break swings by in record time, and she checks her watch even though she knows it's twelve thirty, because it's hard to believe how fast it's come to be. She sits at her desk with her salad in front of her and ponders when Kara will arrive, because there's certainly no question of whether or not she will, today. They need to figure out their next step for one thing, and for another, Kara will not only be moving in tonight, she'll be taking her over to Alex's for dinner.

Oh, god, dinner. Lena chokes on a mouthful of Kale and reaches for a napkin in a panic, coughing up the offending leafy green, nonplussed at the betrayal of the superfood that she's been so loyal to. Dinner with Eliza. Kara's adoptive mom. How is she supposed to get through that without crashing and burning? 

"Kale? Seriously Lena? This baby needs real food!" 

At the sound of Kara's voice, a beaming grin appears on her face. It's like a fresh breath of air has filled the room and Lena can feel the muscles in her body relaxing.

"Hello to you too," Lena snarks, though her smile is still present and blinding. That's when she smells it - it's so good, Lena's whole body shifts forward to be closer to it. "What's in there?" She asks, mouth practically watering. Kara glances down at the brown paper bag clenched in her hand and then looks up with a sly grin.

"Why? D'you want it?" Her grin grows when Lena merely makes a soft noise and leans even further, half way standing now. She holds it up in front of Lena's face, smug. "You can have some." 

"Kara, I've said it before and I'll say it again, you're my hero." Lena beams and reaches for the bag, Kara giving no resistance. She plops it down on the desk, suddenly ravenous, and unfolds the top only to- wait, what? She looks up, confounded as the super takes a seat in front of the desk. "This...I don't even like fries," she murmurs.

"Guess the baby has better taste than you," Kara teases, and plucks out a fry for herself. "How are you feeling today, any better? Did you get enough sleep?"

Lena just shrugs and lets out a deep breath, resigned to the fact that she's really going to enjoy eating deep fried potatoes for once, "Yes, thanks to you. Last night was probably the most sleep I've had in a long time. Aside from that, the morning sickness has been kind enough to not interfere too much with my work today. Oh, and Alex came over this morning. She brought donuts and coffee - I can only imagine she must've flashed her badge to the Concierge." She catches a hint of confusion on Kara's face and places her hand over Kara's reassuringly. "It was...lovely. I think she might even come again at some point."

Kara's happiness is palpable in the air of the room, there's no mistaking how this information makes her feel, and she reaches over and shoves a fry in Lena's face, "That's really great, Lena. Also you can't just sit there sniffing them, you gotta eat them too. Open up." 

She's not sure which of them is more amused when she does, allowing Kara to stick the fry in her mouth. She chews, enjoying it way more than she ever had before. "That was really good." 

"Hey, what are friends for?" Kara says, though her voice is a little too strained and she's sitting a little too straight as she says it. Lena frets for a moment, wondering what has made Kara act so unsettled, but ultimately decides it's probably best left alone, if the closed off expression on Kara's face is anything to go by. 

"To feed me fries?" Lena questions instead, quirking an eyebrow. To be completely truthful, she doesn't entirely know what friends are for. Not really, except that Kara makes her happy. Kara's exceptionally good at being a friend. Lena thinks a lot about that, wonders if she's any good at it herself. She hopes so. 

"Yes! Yup. It's what I'm here for." Kara agrees, coming back to her usual self, and relief fills Lena. she's fine. "Consider me your personal fry-feeder." Her face scrunches up in a wince at that, flushing pink.

"Alex mentioned dinner." Lena begins, hesitantly, after eating a whole handful of fries shamelessly. "I assume we'll go together."

"Well, yeah, you kinda have to be there," Kara giggles, however her grip on her fries tighten and she manages to squish them to goo. "Oh, oh you meant like go together instead of like turning up seperately. Is that what you meant? It is, right?"

"Yes, Kara." Lena puts her out of her misery, struggling to wipe the amusement off her own face, while at the same time folding a napkin around the super's hand to clean the mess. 

"Yeah, we'll do that. It'll be great!" She talks a little too eagerly and Lena easily recognises the signs of Kara pretending not to be troubled about something when she actually is. 

"Are you afraid? Of what she'll think about this? Or...Is it my last name you're worried about?" 

Kara actually scoffs at that and shakes her head emphatically. "No, no way. Your last name doesn't mean anything to me so it doesn't mean anything to her either. Besides, she pretty much knows you already." 

"Oh? How so?"

The tips of Kara's ears turn pink, and she ducks her head, looking every bit the remorseful puppy. "I talk about you probably too much? It's just, you're my best friend and she's my Mom and I call her and sometimes she asks about what's going on with me - well, she asks that all the time and really you're kinda what's going on with me in that you're my best friend so it makes sense that I talk about you. It's not- it's not /weird/ or anything." 

"I never said it was," Lena snickers, thoroughly entertained. She's baffled that Kara talks about her at all, but the fact that she does /frequently/ by her own admission, makes her chest feel warm and fuzzy. Not the kind of feeling you'd normally use in the same sentence as Luthor. "It's nice, to know you talk about me. Sometimes I do wonder if this friendship is rather one sided, it's hard to believe you want to be my friend most of the time." Even as the words leave her lips she regrets them, she hadn't meant to be quite so honest. 

Kara gapes at her. Then her expression twists into one of righteous indignation and she crosses her arms. "I wanna find everyone who was ever nasty to you and give them all super wedgies. You don't deserve to be stuck feeling that way. And for the record, you're my favourite. I love being your friend, Lena." 

She bites her lip, face flushed. "I love being yours too, Kara," She admits so quietly that if Kara didn't have enhanced hearing, she most likely would've missed it altogether.

"Good, cause I'm not going anywhere. So, dinner? I'll come back to the office at six thirty and we'll walk, it's just a few blocks away, is that okay?" 

"That sounds perfect." 

Once Kara leaves her entire world seems to slow to an almost stop, dragging by unbearably slowly. Every time she looks at the time she's both irritated and relieved to see that there's still plenty of time until dinner, a tiny voice in her head telling her to skip dinner and save herself the humiliation. She ignores it, knowing how upset Kara would be if she did such a thing, despite how terrified she is.

This has to happen, it has to happen tonight, that is not negotiable. 

When Jess knocks on the door to let her know it's six fifteen, she feels sick. It's not just the morning sickness, she's sure of that, and it's hard not to remember all those articles she read that said anxiety was bad for pregnancies, that stress could cause miscarriages - was dinner worth that? No, no, she was being silly. Everything would be fine if only she would stop obsessing over it, difficult as it may be.

Kara is a few minutes early, and aside from greeting each other they walk in nervous silence. Lena doesn't even notice straight away when Kara's hand slips into her own, it's only when they arrive at the door to Alex's that she realises that one of her hands is icy cold and the other has a soft warmness that is Kara's hand wrapped around it. It's a small comfort, and Lena is grateful for it. Kara knocks, squeezes Lena's hand gently, and heaves in a breath.

"This might be a bit..." she throws her hands up into the air to make some kind of flailing gesture, effectively pulling the half of Lena attached to her hand up too. Lena, short as she is, is up on her tip toes with her hand clasped to Kara's up in the air when the door swings open and Alex snorts in amusement. 

"You two planning on coming in or you wanna stay out here and hold hands for a while longer?" She teases, leaning against the doorframe with a raised eyebrow. Kara flushes red but doesn't let go of her hand, dropping their joint fingers back down between them.

"It's cold, Alex. Humans feel the cold. I wanted to keep her warm." Kara explains, as though that makes complete sense even though the only part of Lena that she was warming was a single hand. Lena figures it must make more sense to Kara somehow. Her hand /is/ warm, afterall.

"I bet you did." Alex chuckles, "Get your asses in here, Eliza won't let me eat until everyone's here and I'm starving to death." Lena can understand that, given how hungry she is at this moment. She would have thought the fries would be enough, but just the mention of dinner has her ravenous again. 

"I'm not going to say no to food in my immediate future." Kara says solemnly, and tugs Lena into the apartment behind her. Lena feels her cheeks heat as the enter the apartment, no sign of Eliza yet, and Maggie's eyes fall on them and their linked hands. Maggie raises an eyebrow and Kara lets out an exasperated sigh and detaches her hand from Lena's. Lena feels the loss like a punch to the gut, abruptly cut off from her safety net.

"Lena was /cold/!" She snaps at her, "Can we eat now?" 

"I've got no problems with that," Maggie holds her hands up in surrender, making her way to the dinner table, not far from where Lena and Kara are stood. "Eliza's in the kitchen, she said she'll be out in a minute. Hey Little Luthor,"

"Detective Sawyer," Lena acknowledges, because while she may have spent some time with Alex this morning, it wasn't as though the two of them had a hive mentality going on. While Lena was generally leaning towards believing Alex had decided to give her a chance, Maggie had arrested her in the past, and they hadn't properly spoken since. 

"It's Maggie. It's good to see you under better circumstances." She holds out her hand and Lena moves hastily to shake it, but the second Maggie has a firm grip on her she pulls her forward into probably the most awkward hug of Lena's life. "Thank you. We'll pay you back when we can." 

"Oh no, you don't have to-"

"We'll pay you back," Maggie says firmly, and Lena just nods, wondering when this awkwardness will pass. Maggie pulls away a second later, rolls her shoulders as if to slide the tension off, giving Lena a tentative smile. Lena at least appreciates the intention, even though it leaves her feeling unsure of whether Maggie actually likes her or is just grateful for the gesture - though those two things used to be exactly the same for Lena, a friend was a friend, whether she had to buy their love or not. Kara's slowly making her realise just how messed up that is, that she doesn't need to settle for that. It's painful coming to terms with things like that, becoming more and more aware of how socially incompetent she can be in a casual setting. Throw her into a Gala or a high end function and she can charm her way through them effortlessly, but intimate gatherings are the great unknown for her. 

"You can sit by me," Kara speaks softly, pulling Lena out of her own head, eyes probing as though she knows exactly what Lena was thinking about and doesn't like it one bit. 

"This must be Lena." Eliza scares her half to death only by speaking her name, and Lena's spine straightens and her hands fold over each other too tightly as she turns to face her best friend's adoptive mother. She freezes at the sight of a warm smile and casual clothing - what had she been expecting? Someone who looked as cold and indifferent as her own mother? She feels foolish, now, as Eliza places a dish down at the centre of the dining table, removing the thick red oven gloves. She scans the two of them, Lena's sure that she's assessing the damage. She feels a roaring in her ears and a tightness in her frame, waiting for the imminent rejection that is almost definitely about to be voiced. 

"Hi, Eliza," Kara practically glows, almost looking excited to introduce them, though Lena can't imagine why. Surely Kara must know how badly Lena could screw this up. "You're right, this is my- this is Lena." 

"Hello Kara," Eliza shifts to embrace her, and then comes to stand in front of Lena. "It's lovely to meet you," She sounds genuine, too. Lena holds her hand out, ignoring the fact that it's shaking slightly, and tries to smile back. It must look more like a grimace, but she's doing her best in this utterly foreign interaction. She can only hope she comes out of this with most of her dignity in tact.

"Lena Luthor," She manages, thankfully, to sound calmer than she feels. "It's very nice to meet you Mrs. Danvers, Kara talks about you a lot." Alex snorts in the background while Eliza takes hold of her hand, her grip gentle, and gives her hand a light squeeze rather than shaking it.

"You can call me Eliza,"

"Oh. Alright." Why is her brain short circuiting /now/ of all times? Frustration bubbles up in her chest, her heart racing and hands shaking. 

Eliza frowns slightly, and her other hand closes over the other side of Lena's hand gently.

"Are you okay sweetheart? You seem a little anxious." She asks, eyes full of motherly concern, and Lena is horrified to feel a prickle at the back of her eyes. She can't cry, that would be unseemly of a - old habits die hard and she reminds herself that today isn't about being a Luthor. It's about being meeting Kara's family, about being Just Lena.

"I...yes, I'm fine. Thank you." She swallows hard, still struggling, and she can tell Eliza doesn't believe her, even looking to Kara for confirmation before she releases Lena's fingers. 

"I think we should eat, Kara and Alex are going to combust if we keep talking much longer." Eliza whispers conspiringly, amusement shining in her eyes, and Lena chuckles, in full agreement. "Alright then girls, let's settle in." She speaks to the whole group, and Lena sees Alex and Kara fist bump in celebration while Maggie practically leaps into a seat, obviously having grown impatient and hungry herself. 

Satisfied that the worst has passed, miraculously without incident, she meets Kara's eyes with relief and Kara just beams at her, all teeth and sunshine. Lena can't help but smile back, feeling like maybe this future she's dreamt up, the family she's craved for so long, might already be falling into place.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry omg this chapter is so bad though? It was s real struggle and i feel like this chapter has ended up being more filler than anything else so I apologise for that but hopefully it's okay? Idk ahhh.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lena catches feelings, Kara's enthusiasm is catching on and Alex discovers something important.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (Brief, brief scene in which there is self harm. It's for a plot related purpose and will never occur again, and it's not because anyone's depressed, it's simply vital to the plot. It's all smiles I promise) 
> 
> Also, this chapter is short, but I've been working 10 hour shifts the last few days so I haven't had the most time ever this week xD I hope you guys like it!

"Your mother gave me her mobile number," Lena whispers ever so quietly from where she sits at her vanity, and Kara diverts her gaze from her note book to land on Lena, eyes locked via her reflection in the mirror. Kara's spent the last fifteen minutes attempting to focus, but it's difficult when Lena is sitting there in black silk pyjamas, brushing out her hair, looking like something out of a fairytale. Rapunzel, Kara had considered to begin with, because her hair is ridiculously long and beautiful, but she changes her mind seconds later, deciding that Lena is far too clever and too kind to be even in Kara's mind, suffering through such a gloomy tale. She ends up settling on Belle. Smart, sneakily beautiful, witty and most of the time, one step ahead. That pretty much summed up Lena. 

"Yeah, she told me." Kara realises that she's supposed to actually respond when Lena tilts her head, and looks at her in fond amusement. 

"She's very sweet." Lena hums, clearly pretending to be nonchalant about it when Kara's sure it means much more than she's admitting. Lena's funny like that, about feelings and interests, she knows it comes down to the fact she was raised to be proper, to make the Luthors' proud. Sometimes Kara thinks the Luthors' are more evil than the actual villains she clashes with. 

"So are you." Kara points out and bites her lip when Lena looks away, falling silent. Kara huffs, and pulls herself up, dropping her book on the sheet and getting to her feet. She gently pulls the brush from Lena's hand, not even sure herself what she's doing exactly, and starts brushing her hair. It's soft and silky and oddly therapeutic, and she looks up to meet Lena's eyes in the mirror. "You are, Lena. Eliza loves you already. I wouldn't lie to you. I made a promise, remember?" 

Lena scoffs at that, and Kara frowns in response. 

"What?"

"The promise was to protect me, was it not? So could one not argue that by lying to me about this, it would be considered protecting me?" She asks, voice a bit harder than Kara had expected, but Kara just sighs and shakes her head, gliding the brush from the crown of Lena's head to the ends of her hair. 

"Not in this case. I don't think lying is a good way to protect someone." Before Lena can open her mouth and bring up a certain super secret, Kara continues, "unless telling the truth would put their safety at risk." 

"I really like your family." Lena divulges after a moment. "You're very lucky." 

"Then you are as well, considering we're pretty much family now. Actually, on that topic - are Christmas trees a bad idea around babies?" 

Lena gasps and then laughs, "I was just thinking about that earlier today, in all seriousness." 

"What did you decide?" 

"Christmas trees are a no-go." 

Kara's pulls a face, looking every bit as disappointed as she is. "But Christmas!" She bemoans, clutching the brush to her chest in mock pain, "It won't be nearly as jolly without a tree! Santa won't even know where to find us!" 

"Kara..." Lena begins warily, eyeing her in the mirror, "you do know Santa-"

"He's not real, I know, I'm just trying to keep the Christmas spirit alive! Besides, we'll have to get used to pretending he is, if we ever want lil Superbaby in there to believe in him." 

Lena's eyes twinkle in amusement. "Superbaby?" 

"Don't you think it's cute?" 

"Utterly adorable," Lena says, her eyes, filled with a strange intensity, never leaving Kara's. "The cutest." 

"It's settled then, Superbaby it is." Kara grins, pleased with herself for coming up with the perfect nickname. It reminds her that her list is almost completely finished (Lena had made some minor tweaks after they'd arrived home from dinner and started getting ready to turn in, Kara in the next room changing). The thought brings an idea to the forefront of her mind. She has a feeling if anything, this will help the two of them get a little more comfortable with the idea, though, really they were already adjusting really well in Kara's opinion. 

"You know, with the list pretty much done, I was thinking maybe we could pick up some nursery stuff tomorrow? Cause, I have a day off tomorrow -but it doesn't /have/ to be tomorrow if you won't have time, it could be Tuesday or Thursday or any day, literally, you name it!" The well thought out question devolves into babble quicker than even she'd expected it to. Lena lifts her arm to place her hand over Kara's, where it's fallen to rest on Lena's shoulder. 

"Kara. That sounds wonderful. Jess and I got a decent amount of work done today - not to say I'll be able to just start taking days off whenever I like, but yesterday was the first use of my leave in three years. I'm sure they can deal without me for one more day. In fact, I'll let Jess know I won't be in right now." She pulls away to rifle through her handbag, pulling out her phone and shooting off a text while Kara just gapes, surprised at how easy that had been. 

"So...so we'll just, go when we wake up?" Kara asks hesitantly, because this is the first night that she's officially living here, and bar any Supergirl crisis, it's also the first night they'll be sharing a bed. Which she hadn't really thought about too much until now. 

"It might be an idea to eat breakfast first," Lena teases, a grin in place, and Kara's completely shell shocked that she forgot about food for even a second. Maybe she was a little more distracted by the bed sharing than she initially thought. 

"Right! Yes, breakfast. Most important meal of the day." Kara hums, fiddling with a few random strands of Lena's hair before it registers that she'd stopped brushing it a while ago, and has only been running her fingers through it and playing with it instead. She wonders why Lena hasn't said anything, settling on the idea that maybe she hasn't even noticed. She moves backwards and attempts some kind of gesture that ends up not looking like really anything. "Your hair is done." 

Kara thinks she sees a flash of disappointment in Lena's eyes, but it's gone before she can say anything about it. 

Lena clears her throat. "Thank you, Kara." She stands up, pushing the stool back in, and smiles disarmingly. "We should probably go to sleep now if we want to get an early start." She points out, and she's right, Kara knows, but she still isn't quite ready - she's not sure exactly what it is that's got her all wound up over this and she'd very much like it to stop. 

"I...you head to bed, I should probably double check that they don't need me for the night," Kara dodges, ignores the inquisitive expression on Lena's face, and grabs her phone as if she really is going to check in with the DEO.

"Alright. Well, goodnight Kara." Lena says softly, and then reaches out to tuck Kara's hair behind her ear, effectively turning Kara's cheeks a pale pink in response. "I'll see you when you're done." She pulls away, and climbs into bed without another word, and Kara can feel her heart racing and her body feels frozen for a second before she remembers she'd made an excuse and it would look really weird if she just stood there and watched Lena get comfortable. She turns, comes to stand barely on the other side of the door, and then texts Alex. 

'You guys probably won't need me tonight, right?'

The response comes through within seconds, and Kara curses how perceptive Alex can be. 

'What's wrong?'

'Lena's gone to bed. I'm just not tired yet I guess.' It's a blatant lie, she's exhausted, but Alex doesn't need to know that or start questioning the situation. There's nothing to question, and definitely no situation, except for two best friends welcoming a child into their lives. That's the whole, entire situation. 

'Are you overthinking things again? Just go sleep with your best friend.' 

Kara chokes on her spit for a moment before she realises what Alex had actually meant, and tells herself that picturing her and Lena together isn't indicative of anything except a simple misread of a text. Anyone would have done the same thing on instinct. She takes a deep breath and considers responding, although another text comes through before she can. 

'I just realised what I told you to do, omg. don't sleep with her. Just, y'know, sleep with her. You know what I mean. Go to bed, Kara.' 

'Yeah yeah, I know. Okay, I'm heading to bed now.' 

She slips back into the bedroom, places her phone down on the vanity, and climbs into the bed, eyes glued to Lena. The Luthor is lying on her side, facing Kara, eyes shut and hair already tussled from the pillow. A light warmth bubbles and grows in Kara's chest and she smiles, sinking into the mattress, and closing her eyes. 

...

From the second they arrive in IKEA, Kara goes baby crazy. Honestly, Lena feels as though perhaps she should have seen this coming, after all Kara is enthusiastic about almost everything, going above and beyond in everything she does, so she shouldn't be surprised that extends to parenthood in a big way. They've marked off most of the things they've picked out on a pad of paper, already almost done. At this current moment, Kara is fawning over a soft green baby blanket, rubbing it against her face and cooing. 

"Lena," She breathes, "Its the softest thing I've ever touched in the history of ever! Feel it!" She shoves it into Lena's unprepared hands with an enthusiastic grin. Lena fumbles, almost dropping it, and feels a grin of her own tugging at her lips. It /is/ incredibly soft, and she's hit with an onslaught of images of a tiny baby wrapped in it, with Kara's blue eyes and her own black hair. It's like suddenly sunlight is being poured into her, filling her to the brim and that's all it takes to make her just as enthusiastic as Kara about the whole thing, rather than just feeling like she's checking items off a list.

"See!" Kara beams, pushing her glasses up her nose, "It's perfect, right?"

"It really is," Lena admits softly, heaviness in her chest as she looks at Kara and for the first time, sees her as not only her best friend but the other mother of her child. It's strange, how different it is to look at her that way, how /happy/ just thinking about it makes her. She clears her throat, realising she's just been staring at Kara, awestruck, for a little bit too long. The green blanket ends up neatly folded in their trolley.

"And its the same colour as your eyes too," Kara muses out loud, and Lena is caught off guard, glancing back at it, surprised. 

"It is?" She asks, voice cracking slightly. Kara nods eagerly.

"That's why I picked it," she says, casually enough that Lena realises it isn't even a thing for Kara, it's perfectly natural to know your best friend's eye colour so well that you can identify it on sight. Which, Lena decides, it must be. She would know that dazzling blue anywhere as well. So then, it's perfectly normal. 

They move on to the next station, Kara practically sprinting ahead and squatting down to read the label on a white, oval shaped cot studiously, then scrawling it down on her pad. She catches herself a second later, and turns to Lena, cheeks reddening.

"Do you like this one? I wrote it down already but we can find another," She says earnestly, tapping her pen against the pad to enthuse her point. Lena just laughs.

"It's fine, Kara. It's a beautiful cot." Kara lights up at that and nods to herself, proud. Lena thinks this is turning out to be one of the best days of her life. She's with Kara (that alone is capable of skyrocketing her mood and making her day every single time) picking out nursery furniture and such, to fill the spare bedroom in her home in anticipation of the child they're having together. It's breathtaking, and Lena can't help but feel that she's lucked out. This is the happiest accident in the world, and their child will be so loved, so unlike Lena, raised with affection and kindness. Her heart clenches. 

"Hey, how many teddies do you think one baby needs? I'm thinking at /least/ ten." Kara calls out to her, breaking her reverie. Lena is still frozen, a little choked up as well, and Kara bounds over to her, more stuffed animals than should be possible tucked under her arms. "Lena? You okay?" She asks, concern clear on her face. 

Lena barely manages to shake her head and within seconds the plush toys are dumped, and Lena finds herself tucked up in Kara's arms. 

"I'm sorry," She mumbles into Kara's sweater, and Kara just shakes her head. 

"No. You don't ever have to be sorry for feeling things, Lena." She comforts, and with one last gentle squeeze, pulls back, hands resting on Lena's forearms. "Are you...are you uncomfortable with this? We can come back another time if this is too much." She looks forlorn at the idea of leaving, though. 

"It's not that," Lena is quick to assert, not wanting Kara to assume that she's unhappy about this, "I was just...I can see it." When Kara just tilts her head, confused, Lena gives her a watery smile and pulls away, picking up a discarded stuffed bunny. "Our future together. The baby, how loved it will be, how happy we could be. I suppose I hadn't really thought about it, properly. It just made me realise how much I want that is all." She twists the bunny's ears and belatedly looks up, meeting Kara's eyes. 

"Oh, Lena." Kara's eyes are wide, soft and full of emotion. "Of course it'll be that way. the baby will be /so/ loved. I want this too, Lena, from the second I found out, I'm just glad that you do too." 

Lena exhales shakily, bites her lip. "And us, we'll be happy as well? You're not...upset, that you're stuck with me for at the least another eighteen years?" She asks, tentative. Kara actually laughs, and Lena winces. 

"Lena, are you kidding? There's no one in this world I'd rather to be stuck with." Then teasingly, she adds, "Eighteen years is nothing, I was stuck in the Phantom Zone for twenty four years." 

"But you were asleep," Lena points out, though her shoulders have released their tension and she's fighting off the beam that's bubbling its way to the surface. 

"I sleep a lot. I'll probably be sleeping for most of the next eighteen years anyway." Kara waves a hand dismissively, extracting a laugh from Lena easily. 

"I don't doubt it. Besides, the first few years sleep will be all we care about," Lena remembers board members who have children, coming to work exhausted and irritable, and hopes she won't be quite so cranky. She already knows Kara won't, the woman is the walking personification of sunlight for heaven's sake. 

"And how is that different from usual for me?" Kara asks, grinning. Lena just rolls her eyes, all too amused.

"Touché." 

"So, are we all good now? Cause there is a giant stuffed giraffe over there that is calling my name." Kara practically squeals the last part, and Lena nods, completely and utterly blissful. If this is going to be her life from now on, she certainly isn't complaining.

Hours later, Kara (unsurprisingly, considering she /does/ have superstrength and super speed) has filled the nursery with all the bags and boxes they brought home. Unfortunately, time does not stand still just because Lena is happy, so it's mere minutes after that that there's a call for Supergirl. Kara gives her a regretful look, promising to be back as soon as she can, before leaving. 

Lena spends the first fifteen minutes reading. She gets bored of that, and moves on to doing her paperwork, which fills the Kara sized void in the apartment almost well enough, as she's totally immersed in it. She approves the adjusted Wayne contract, and sends a few emails off, only stopping when she hears the familiar sound of her phone ringing. The caller I.D tells her it's Alex, so she picks up quickly. 

"Lena- thank god. I need to talk to you, something happened-"

Fear seizes every limb and every muscle that make up Lena's body, her grip on the phone tightening. Kara? Is she okay? She's not- she can't lose anybody else. She can't lose Kara. She can't. 

"Alex? Is Kara alright?" 

"Kara's fine, it's- it's me, I was in the lab and I broke a beaker, it cut my hand but then..."

Relief flows through her, and she lets out a breath she hadn't realised she'd been holding. She's never heard Alex talk so fast before though, so as quick as it left, the tension returns to her body with a vengeance.

"Alex, calm down. Whatever it is, I'm sure it's all going to be okay," she doesn't know that, of course she doesn't, but this is Alex, she's a Danvers, the two sisters seem to be able to bounce back from literally everything. Not to say that they don't suffer the after effects, they just seem, well, Lena has to admit that she kind of sees them both as invincible, despite Alex's lack of super powers.

"That's the thing, it is okay!" Alex's voice is indicative enough of the fact that she wasn't pleased about this, so Lena pauses, puzzled.

"Well, isn't that a good thing?"

"No- yes, I don't know. I cut my hand on one of the shards and then it just /healed/, in ten seconds flat. I just wanted to know, I mean, is it happening to you too?"

"I...am not sure," Lena murmurs, morbidly curious, "hang on Alex, I'll just be a minute." She places the phone down, taps the speaker icon, and shifts around to evaluate the best option from where she's sitting.

"Lena," There's a warning in the tone Alex uses, which Lena knowingly ignores. She spots the letter opener, silver and small and /sharp/. Kara would indubitably disapprove, although...it might be advantageous to know about whether or not she too was affected.

"Lena," Alex says again, sounding cautious, "What are you doing?" 

"Just testing the theory," Lena says casually, despite the shaking of her hands and brings the Letter opener down against her arm, slicing through porcelain skin as a pained hiss escapes her lips. Blood appears in tiny crimson beads, and Lena begins to doubt how good of an idea that was. It's not a shallow cut my any means, absolutely not her smartest move if it ends up disproving her theory. She's a few moments from panicking when a pinching feeling runs up her arm, and sluggishly the skin knits itself back together, leaving her arm unmarred but for the line of blood dripping down it. 

"I'm experiencing the same irregularity," Lena tells Alex, pleased. She reaches for the tissue box sitting on the opposite end of the desk, tugging one loose and using it to mop up some of the mess on her arm. She ends up going through three tissues to get clean again. 

"Jesus Christ, Lena." Alex hisses, "What the hell is wrong with you?" 

More things than one could possibly count, Lena muses, before answering with a simple, "scientific curiousity, I suppose."

"Right. You're an idiot. I'm coming over." Alex grunts, and the line goes dead.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lena and Alex figure everything out, and the world keeps turning, no matter how much everyone would just like some peace.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What? Two chapters in one day? Don't get your hopes up, all aboard the angst train!

Alex barrels through her apartment, brand new key in hand and Lena wonders if maybe she shouldn't have given it to her yet. It's not that she's at all unhappy she's here, but Alex seems even more comfortable in Lena's apartment than Lena herself is most days (the only time it's felt like home has been in Kara's presence). 

"You!" Alex points her finger accusingly, scowl marring her features. "Do not care about your own wellbeing at all, do you?" Her tone is harsh but her words read like she actually cares about that, and Lena falters in her steps, about to deny the allegation.

"It was an important hypothesis to test," Lena defends, crossing her arms. Alex practically growls, slamming her bag and keys down on the kitchen counter. 

"You couldn't have waited for a papercut?" She questions irritably, folding her own arms over her chest. Lena feels very much like a scolded child, but she holds her ground, perfectly fine with prolonging this standoff even though it was wasting time they could be spending figuring this all out. Nobody has ever called Lena a pushover. Well, except Lillian, anyway, and Lena's starting to come to terms with the fact that - as Kara put it, Lena was a victim of emotional manipulation, Lillian gaslighting her at every turn. 

"I'm a very careful person, Agent Danvers. It probably would have been a while." 

The return to formality makes Alex flinch, and then she just sighs. Lena follows Alex's eyes to the alcohol cabinet, and is 100% ready to fight her off should she start towards it. There is no way Lena is going to let Alex risk her baby, or her own sanity should she lose it. She's almost certain Alex wouldn't actually do it, that she's just wistful for the days when hard conversations were made easier with a drink in her hand. The way Kara tells it, Alex has always had an alcohol problem, not that she'd ever admit it. Lena can relate, of course she can, she knows how much easier it is to drown your misery in a glass of whiskey, spent most of her teenage years doing as much. 

"You, Kara, Maggie. Jesus." Alex mutters to herself, drawing Lena's eyes back to her. She's dropped her arms to her sides, looking less angry and more nonplussed than anything. "I'm surrounded by self sacrificing idiots. Typical."

"Excuse me?" Lena begins, indignant, but Alex holds a hand up to cut her off. 

"I'm not gonna fight you on this one, Lena." She places emphasis enough on Lena's first name that Lena knows she must have hurt her feelings with the formal use of her name earlier. 

"I apologise, Alex. I get defensive a little too easily. Hazard of the trade, I suppose." It's the closest she'll come to begging for forgiveness, though really she does hope Alex will forgive her, she's already started growing attached, a thing she seems to do far too easily these days. 

"Hazard of the name, more like." Alex snorts, and then flushes a bit, "Sorry, that was rude. Old habits."

"It's fine." Lena tells her, because it is. Everyone has an opinion on the Luthors, and she'd already known Alex has a strong one. It was still a step forward if Alex didn't see her under the same umbrella anymore, she wouldn't even be here if she did. 

"Alright, moving on." Alex says assertively, and sits down on the edge of Lena's polished wood table. Lena winces. That's not how a table works, that's why there are chairs- "You're never doing that again. Guess we'd better address the metaphorical elephant in the room, huh?" 

She has a point, so Lena nods her agreement. "Definitely a good idea." 

"So, we heal from everything. That's kind of weird. I'm thinking it's probably the tech, I did some reading on the way over-" At Lena's disapproving look she drawls, "While keeping alert and aware of the road." 

"What did you find?" 

"It looks like the tech usually protects the vessel, which would normally be the actual growth pod. Apparently Krypton and Daxam's disagreements went beyond just hating each other, from the information that was available I figured out that Kyrptonions used to tamper with the pods, freeze growth permanently."

"What good would that do? Wouldn't they just build more?" Lena's eyebrows knit together, puzzlement clear on her face. 

"The idea was that they'd be able to freeze more than the daxamites could make- It was basically an attempt at reducing population to nothing. Didn't work, obviously. Although, you've gotta assume they were probably pleased as punch to know if they were going down, Daxam was too." Alex snorts, though her face is grim. After all, that's Kara'a home she's talking about too, just as gone as Daxam is. They both hurt for Kara when they think about it. "Anyway they modified it. So basically, it's the tech that's doing it." 

"Hm." Lena digests the information quietly, silently glad for it. If she and Alex couldn't get hurt, neither could their unborn children. If that wasn't a weight off her shoulders. 

"But I have this theory," Alex continues, out of the blue, and Lena waves her hand in a gesture for her to continue. "Hit me." 

Lena laughs, long and deep, except when she looks at Alex the other woman isn't laughing with her, she's staring her down with determination. "You can't be serious." Her voice falls flat. 

"I am." Alex admits, shrugging. 

"But why -"

"We already know we're both able to heal. I want to know if we'll heal if we hurt each other, and I'm not about to hit you."

"I don't want to hit you either!" 

"...Not even a little, eensie weensie tiny bit?" Alex goads, smirking. "I used to be pretty rude to you, remember?"

"Nice try, Alex, but it won't work. I'm not hitting you for science. What would Maggie say?"

Alex hitches an eyebrow at her. "You didn't seem to stop and think about what Kara would say when you cut yourself open for science."

"That's different,"

"And how is that different, exactly?"

"It just is, Alex." 

"Nuh uh, I don't think so. It's not different. Unless you think less of yourself than you do us, but that would be silly, considering you're a genius in your own right."

"I don't think that." The lie burns as it leaves her. Alex just shakes her head. 

"Okay. You /do/, but okay. I know when to back off. Don't think I'm not talking to Kara about this, though, cause I will. You're more than you seem to think, Lena." 

"You should probably be reminding yourself of that too." Lena says, without thinking, and then flushes, knowing she's overstepped. She's not close enough to Alex to be calling her a hypocrite. Alex stares at her blankly for a moment, before a smirk tugs the corner of her lips upward. 

"You're not wrong. I'm working on it." Alex shrugs. "Doesn't mean I can't call others out on it though." She says, giving Lena a meaningful look. 

"Fair enough." Lena murmurs, though she's relieved to have gotten a positive reaction. "We got the nursery furniture today." She doesn't know why she says it, but Alex's back straightens and she looks more enthusiastic than Lena's ever seen her in her presence. 

"Yeah? Can I have a look?" At Lena's nod she slides her ass off the table, following behind her looking far too much like Kara had while they were shopping. 

"None of it's assembled, as you can see," Lena explains as they enter the doorway, leaning against the doorframe as Alex moves into the room, picking up and examining the stuffed bunny. 

"This is pretty cute," she murmurs, and then burps, and groans. "Fucking pregnancy gas. It's killing me." She grumbles darkly, looking at Lena for support. Lena hides a grin and says, 

"Oh, that must be terrible. I wouldn't know, I haven't really experienced it much." She says, all too smugly, and Alex gapes at her. Then, she chuckles. 

"Guess I never should have rubbed the morning sickness thing in, huh? Karma and all that." She shakes her head, amused, before her attention is caught by the green blanket, her eyes lighting up once she has it in her hands. "This is so soft. I need to get one. What is this, emerald green?" She asks offhandedly, and Lena feels herself flush. She certainly can't say it's the same shade as her eyes, not only would that sound stuck up, she doesn't really want to tell Alex about how Kara had said as much. For some reason that interaction is just- it was important. Not something to chat about idly. 

"Might be," Lena says instead, and Alex presses it to her cheek the same way Kara had. 

"Whatever colour it is, it's awesome. I'm getting one. Did you see any in like a chocolate brown colour?"

Lena actually had, if she recalled correctly. "Yes, I think so." 

"Cool." Alex continues to go through her things, and Lena kind of likes it. Alex going through the nursery furniture, excited for them. That brings up the thought of money, though, and she hopes it wouldn't be in poor taste to just ask about it. After all, neither Alex or Maggie have contacted her about it, and sooner or later they will need it. 

"I was, em...I was wondering if you'd be able to send me your banking information," She says cautiously, watches as Alex's head whips up from where she's bent at the waist examining the space themed mobile that will soon be hanging over the cot. 

"Oh- you, you're still alright with doing that?" 

"Alex, I wouldn't have offered if I wasn't." Lena says, pouring every ounce of sincerity she has into it. Alex falters a little, then tentatively, she smiles. 

"Yeah, i can send you my details. Thank you."

"You don't need to thank me every time we mention it, Alex." Lena tells her, slightly uncomfortable. The last thing she wanted was for Alex to always feel like she was in her debt. "In fact, I'd very much like it if we could just pretend that it's nothing at all. I appreciate that you're grateful for the help but honestly? I'd just like to be friends." 

Alex smiles at that, puts down the counting blocks she'd been fiddling with, and steps out from the mess of boxes and toys alike. "Are you hungry? There's this amazing burger place just around the corner from here that I'm sure you've probably gone nowhere near and that's got to change."

It's halfway through lunch when she gets the call, her Mother's family face staring through her soul even as Lena sits at a table with a handful of fries crammed in her mouth. She swallows hard, looks to Alex, who has picked up on the fact that something is wrong in seconds alone.

"Who's calling you?" She asks, Agent mode kicking in. Lena can't answer her, frozen. The fact that the phone will soon ring out catches up with her and she rushes to snatch up her phone, swiping to answer in a daze.

The last time she spoke to Lillian, her mother had admitted her mistakes and practically begged her for a fresh start. They'd saved the world together, before Lillian faded away without a trace, or even a goodbye. She was after all, fleeing from the authorities. She forces down the hopeful part of her that wonders if this could just be a social call, maybe she was just checking in on her? Her hopes are crushed the second Lillian speaks, though.

"Lena, we need to get you away from those people." Her mother says coldly, without so much as a hello. Lena feels her heart sink. 

"Mother." She acknowledges, more for Alex's benefit than anything. The eldest Danvers freezes, and then grabs her own phone out, most likely to phone the DEO and get a trace going on the phone. "I don't have the faintest idea what you're talking about." 

"I know, Lena. I can protect you, and we can get rid of that abomination inside of you. I promise Lena, you will be safe with me." 

Lena's blood runs cold and her fingers clamp down on the edge of the table, knuckles turning white. How? How does she know? How could she possibly- she could do something, God she could- no, no. The baby is safe. The Daxamite tech made sure of that. Didn't it? She suddenly finds herself doubting just how safe her baby is, if there could be away around it, a way to hurt it. She couldn't bear it, this is her child, her and Kara's superbaby. The dreams of a future with a child tucked in her arms are replaced with emptiness, a void, and Lena mourns the loss of her baby even though it's not happened yet. She can't bare that, she loves this baby.

She loves this baby. 

She hadn't quite comprehended how much before, how very much she loves the life growing within her, and she's scared, really scared- and then all of a sudden she isn't. Waves of calm wash over her, contradicting her thoughts. Waves of love and warmth and she knows she's not feeling that way, she's not thinking that way, but she is. She is feeling that way. 

"Lena? Are you listening to me? God you always were so easily distracted, I said-" 

Lena isn't listening at all. She's looking down at her abdomen, wondering how the hell a child who isn't even fully formed yet can be forcing feelings on her. Because it must be the fetus, she knows herself well enough to know this isn't her doing. She stares, and she stares, and she stares. 

"Mother, I'm very busy at the moment." She talks brashly into the phone, and hangs up. Alex tries to get her attention, saying her name, and Lena looks up at her.

"I think...This baby has some kind of sway."

Alex looks at her searchingly, not understanding what she means, and Lena takes a deep breath. 

"No, I know it does. It calmed me down. How is that possible?"

Alex's eyes widen a fraction, and then she fires off some instructions to the DEO agent on the other end before hanging up, herself. 

"What are you talking about?"

"I was terrified, Alex. I thought this was it, I thought she was going to find a way - she said she could destroy it." 

The other woman startles at that. "Did she say how?"

"No, and as far as I know we're the only two who know we're close to invinvible right now. Although, I did think that the four of us and the DEO were the only ones who knew about the baby at all, so..."

Alex winces, then frowns even deeper and groans. "We've got a mole, then. God damn it, can't we ever catch a break?" She asks, though Lena knows it's a rhetorical question. Alex shifts after a second. "You said the baby calmed you down, what did you mean?" 

Lena's not entirely sure how to go about explaining it, though she knows she has to at least try. "I just started feeling calm, feeling like everything was going to be okay. I know it came from her, I can't explain it, I just know. Do you believe me?" She pleads Alex with her eyes, needs someone else to believe her so she can at least tell herself she isn't crazy. 

Alex exhales, and then, after what seems like a millennia, she says, "Yeah. It's too crazy and weird not to be true in the world we live in." 

"Thank god." Lena breathes, and Alex smiles, its pathetic, and completely fake, but Lena appreciates the sentiment. Then, Alex's face scrunches up in confusion. Just when Lena figured she was out of the water, she thinks wistfully. 

"Did you say her?" 

What is Alex talking about? "What?" 

"When you were talking about the baby, you said her." Alex explains, excitement firing from every inch of her. 

"I did?"

"You did!" Alex confirms, the beginnings of a real smile appearing on her face. Had she said that? Lena thinks hard, she remembers how important it was for Alex to believe her, remembers how focused she was when she was thinking about it. If the child could sway her emotions to calm her down, maybe she had gotten some kind of intuition from the child? It was hardly outside of the realms of possibility - she pictures a little girl with a silky black mane of hair, bright sparkling blue eyes and rosy cheeks, a dimpled grin and a playful laugh. Lena's heart skips a beat.

"I did." Lena whispers, and meets Alex's eyes. 

"They say a mother's intuition is almost never wrong, you know," Alex tells her, having successfully lifted the mood, and Lena grins back at her. 

"They also say that about me." She jokes, and the mood is successfully lighter. They finish their lunch, Alex shooting text after text to J'onn about the incident, and Kara as well. 

Lena's not sure what to say to Kara about this whole thing, honestly she kind of wants to put it off. She doesn't want Kara to look at her, all soft and warm and worried, doesn't want to be playing the victim yet again. Be your own hero, that's what Kara had said. That's exactly what Lena plans to do.

 

...

Kara announces her presence in the apartment by shouting out as she's opening the door.

"Honey! I'm home!" 

Lena snorts at the joke and gets up from where she's sitting, in Kara's worn in sweatpants and her own MIT hoodie. Kara's always a whirlwind, but today in particular she's a mess, hair straying from a pony tail that was obviously haphazardly thrown up when she was leaving the DEO. She drops all her things on the floor in front of he door- What was with the Danvers sisters and putting things (or themselves) in places they weren't meant to be? Kara comes over to greet her, giving her a one armed hug and then pulling away to place a couple of pizza boxes down on the counter. 

"I brought dinner," She says, as though as much were not obvious, and Lena smiles, opening a box and reaching for a piece. 

"I can see that," She says, before taking a bite. It's edging on six thirty, and Kara's been out the entire afternoon. "What was the emergency?" Lena asks curiously, having decided asking Alex about Kara was not a good start to a relationship she wanted to build with Alex. 

"Oh, the usual," Kara shrugs, though when Lena quirks a perfectly plucked brow she gives in, "There was a lizard monster. A really, really big lizard monster. Clark needed a hand."

"In metropolis?" Lena asks, even though she already knows that must be the case. 

"Yeah. I think it bothered him that he had to call me for help, I'm not sure. He can be so hard to read sometimes." Kara grumbles, exasperated. 

"Did you...mention the situation to him at all?"

"Oh. Um, no. I'm waiting for the right time, I feel like in the middle of a lizard battle probably isn't it." 

Lena thinks she's right on that count, so she doesn't press the issue further. That's when Kara turns to her, expression suddenly serious, and Lena curses Alex for being a tattle tale, despite the fact that she was going to have to tell Kara at some point, and really it was easier if she didn't have to do it herself.

"Alex told me what happened today. Are you alright?" 

"Not especially," Lena concedes, taking another bite of her pizza. 

Kara looks pensive. "We're working on it, at the DEO. We're going to find out who told your mother and deal with them, I promise. For the mean time, Dr. Katz will come to us."

"That's a good idea," She acknowledges, assuming that will be the end of the conversation, but Kara's expression moves from concern, to irritation.

"And if you ever, ever decide to hurt yourself for such a stupid reason, ever again, I will kill you. I have heat vision, /I could do it/." It's an empty threat, but Lena feels chided enough. "Nothing is worth your wellbeing. It frustrates me that you don't know that." 

Lena rubs at her eyes and fights off the tears that are threatening to escape them, not having expected Kara's words, or how heavy they would be. Everything about this day has been so exhausting, from beginning to end and Kara and Alex care about her, and Lillian-

Lillian. She knows it won't help to remember that she'd been wary before answering the phone, all she can remember is how hopeful she'd been. She knows that one of these days, maybe she'll learn, but today- Today she didn't. Today she got hurt again, and today she feels like giving up. The hormones certainly don't help, she bemoans, though at least it would be an easy way to brush off just how much it hurt if the tears did escape her. There's absolutely no sign that the baby intends to help this time, and she supposes that's fair enough, maybe it was a fluke, maybe the baby thought she'd been in danger. Either way, it's not the baby's job to keep her calm all the time. 

"Lena, do you need a hug?" 

The question catches her completely off guard and she stares up at Kara like she hung the sun. Yes, Lena Luthor really, /really/ needs a hug right now, and Kara can add mind reading to her long list of talents. She barely manages a nod before she finds herself enveloped in strong arms and surrounded by warmth and the scent of honeysuckle. 

"Hey, it's okay, you know? To be upset. You're only human, Lena, and you've had a tough day." Kara reassures her, hand rubbing gently against her back, between her shoulder blades. Lena is close to seeing stars, because being wrapped up in Kara is somehow overwhelming, so powerful an experience that she feels she could write a book about it. 

"Thank you, Kara." 

"Anytime," Kara murmurs into her shoulder. "I love you," she adds, a few moments later, the words spilling from her lips like warm honey, and the dam breaks. Her eyes water and she squeezes Kara tighter, presses her face into the crook of Kara's neck, gets comfortable. She wants to say it back, of course she does, Kara's her best friend. However, one of the many downfalls of being a Luthor, is that she just isn't wired that way. She wasn't raised like this, and she doesn't even really know how to form such foreign words, her tongue can't quite spell them out, too heavy for it to bear. She heaves a sigh and Kara reaches up and strokes the back of her head. "It's okay, Lena. It's okay." 

They stand still like that for a while, lost in a moment, as though stuck in a parallel dimension where they have quite happily glued themselves together. Lena doesn't think she's ever felt more at peace, more at home. It's not until Lena's legs feel weak, her ankles are too sore, and exhaustion is pushing her body that they shift, as if Kara can tell somehow. Kara tugs her foreward, towards the couch, and sits down, gently turning Lena's body so she can sit just slightly in front of her, with her back to Kara's front. She rests her chin on Lena's shoulder and wraps her arms around Lena's waist. 

"Are you comfortable?" Kara asks softly, turning her head into the crook of Lena's neck slightly, her lips brushing the skin there. Lena can feel her warm breath this close, suddenly far too aware of every part of her own body that is touching Kara's, she knows she's comfortable physically, but she /is/ starting to question why her thoughts have strayed, why she's hoping Kara will cuddle her to sleep tonight too. Why she hopes this embrace won't end too soon. 

"Yes, I am. Thank you, Kara." She murmurs, closing her eyes and leaning back into her. She can feel Kara smile against her neck, and it sends an unusual tingle from the tip of her toes to her chest. 

"I'm here for you, Lena. I always will be." Kara tells her, and Lena gasps as understanding dawns on her.

Oh. 

/Oh/.

Shit.

"Mm?" Kara questions the sudden change, and Lena just shakes her head. Kara falls back into silence, snuggled into Lena's back. Lena can't breathe. 

She has feelings for Kara. Of course she does, she thinks angrily, because if anyone can screw up a good thing, it's you, Lena. What they had was perfect, everything was perfect! Lena mentally curses herself a million times over, furious with herself. Kara was her best friend, her only friend- her, her everything! Now she was going to what? Ruin it all? No. Resignation settles itself heavy in Lena's stomach, and she's not sure if it's the discernment of the truth or the morning sickness when she jerks forward in Kara's arms, reaching desperately for something, anything to empty her stomach contents into. She comes up empty in more ways than one, Kara trying to calm her down as she's sick all over the coffee table, much to her own horror. She vaguely registers that she's crying, too - sobbing, really, can hear Kara although she sounds like she's talking through a bubble. 

"-please, Lena, Rao-" 

She's sure she looks a complete mess, curled up on the floor between the couch and the vomit covered table, tears streaming down her face, and if the stinging sensation in her nose was anything to go by, snotty too. Yet there is Kara, crouched next to her, talking at a rocket fast pace and panicking, trying desperately to make her feel better. She doesn't deserve her. If Kara had any idea how truly selfish Lena really is, if she only knew that while Kara is stuck with Lena, Lena is selfishly pleased about it- the thought makes her feel even sicker. What the hell is wrong with her? It can't possibly just come down to her last name, there's something wrong with her, there's got to be.

"Say something, please. You're scaring me." Kara slows down enough to look at her properly, catch her gaze. She grabs hold of Lena's hands tightly, stopping the tremors that had been in control of them up until now. 

"I'm so sorry," Lena gets out through the scratchiness of her throat, voice nasally from her now blocked nose and refusing to meet Kara's eyes. "I'll fix it. I'll fix it." She repeats it as though that could make it so, and she's not just talking about the mess. 

Kara's body sags, appeased. "No, Lena, you need to lie down," Kara disagrees, "Rao, I was so worried," She adds after a second, and guilt floods Lena. Of course Kara had been worried when her best friend started having some kind of attack, Kara, sweet, kind, loving Kara - of course seeing that had distressed her. 

"I'm alright, Kara," Lena lies to make her feel better, but Kara's rolled eyes show that she doesn't buy it for a single second. "I just wasn't expecting that, that's all." 

"Don't." Kara says sourly, suddenly looking so angry that Lena flinches, shocked. She doesn't think this look has ever been aimed at her before, at least not by Kara, and she's terrified of what it could mean. "Don't lie to me. We're past this, Lena! I can't deal with you hiding how you are from me, I can't do that- if you keep it all in all you're doing is hurting yourself, and, and I know you don't mean to but you're hurting me too- I love you, Lena, that means I care!" 

Lena visibly recoils at Kara's use of the L word, because she doesn't mean it that way, she says it all the time, it doesn't mean anything to her. She has no idea what saying that now does to her. "I'm sorry." She says again, even quieter, staring at the carpet, spotting a few stray splashes of her own sick on it. That's going to be hell to get out. 

"Lena-I..." Kara shakes her head, frustrated. "You know what? We can talk about this later. You need to rest now, that's more important. I'll clean this up, just- just go lie down. /please/." Her anger fades to sadness and resignation. Lena still feels guilty as she shakily moves to push herself to her feet, Kara quick to help her up, but her hands don't linger and she lets go the second Lena is standing. Lena makes her way to the bedroom with shame burning in her chest. She may very well have screwed everything up without ever having Kara find out the truth, and if that isn't pathetic, well. She can't help but wonder if this is it, if this is the part where Kara realises she's too broken, too different from her, that they can't make this work. 

"Lena?" Kara calls, when Lena is close enough to the bedroom door to make a quick escape should she want to, "I'm mad at you right now, but this doesn't change anything. We'll talk when you feel better, okay?" 

Lena fights off tears as she nods, still turned away from Kara, and escapes the living room to collapse, defeated onto the bed without even bothering to clean herself up.

Her phone lights up with a text from Eliza, and she whimpers as she reads it. 

'Lena, I heard about everything that happened today. Stay strong, sweetheart, it's all going to be okay.'

She cries herself to sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> God I am just so sorry omg why did I do this


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kara and Alex talk, and Lena is getting more and more frustrated with a recurring issue at work.

Kara sighs, scrubbing the last of the mess from the carpet, coffee table now clean and sanitised. Her thoughts wonder to Lena, concerned, and her heart aches remembering the soft sniffs and whimpers from the bedroom. Lena's breathing has evened out, she's obviously gone to sleep, and Kara just wants to go in there and hold her. 

She knew if she left the mess it would stain horribly, that her heightened senses wouldn't be able to take even a slight leftover scent, and so she'd gotten to work, doing her best to block everything else from her mind. It had worked, somewhat, because now the job was done and the mess was cleaned and all Kara wanted was to climb into bed and go to sleep as well.

Except, she can't help the feeling that she's maybe pushed Lena too far, the damage Lillian had done had left her standing on a ledge, and Kara is absolutely terrified that she's finished the job. Will Lena even talk to her, after this? She hadn't even looked back before she left. Not even a tiny glance. 

She swipes the wetness from her cheeks with the back of her hand, angry at herself. Has she ruined everything? All she wants is for Lena to trust her, for Lena to see that Kara understands, that she needs to know how she's really doing because she cares about her. Did it even work? Did Lena even understand that now? 

Kara closes her eyes and exhales. They'll deal with it tomorrow, after Lena has had a rest and they're both calm. What was it that Eliza used to say? Don't go to bed angry or upset? She should have resolved it with Lena at the time, she just- Lena had looked so small, on the floor, so delicate and so devastated. Was it so wrong that Kara couldn't bear to risk making her cry again, so soon after she had stopped? 

No. No, she should have been an adult about it. Should've known it was better to talk about it then, to make sure Lena knows she loves her and that they can work through this. They'd never had a fight before, if that could even count as one. It was all her, Kara knows. She'd flipped out and now Lena is a mess because of her. She washes her hands, dries them on the dish towel and heads for the bedroom, cracking the door open to peek inside. Lena is sleeping, but for the first time that Kara has seen, it seems to be an unsettled sleep. Kara goes back to the kitchen, wets a wash cloth with warm water and returns. She gently clears the dried tears on Lena's cheeks, cleans the rest of her face off, and then drops it into the hamper. She pulls the covers back and watches as Lena tosses in her sleep. She can't bear it. 

Kara pulls Lena to her chest, wrapping her arms around her tight. Lena curls into her, like she's magnetic, and her head settles on Kara's collarbone. 

Kara feels guilty. 

"I'm so sorry, Lena. I'm so sorry." She whispers, stroking Lena's hair. 

..

Lena wakes up with strong arms wrapped around her and her pillow rising and falling with each breath. Which, is strange, to say the least. She blinks an eye open, squinting in the darkness, and makes out Kara's jawline right above her head. Oh. She watches, for a moment, the rise and fall of Kara's chest beneath her head, and reaches, as slowly as possible as not to disrupt her, for Kara's hand, lying still by Kara's side while the other is still resting on Lena's back. She brushes Kara's fingertips with her own, then fully slips her fingers through Kara's, holding her hand and dropping her head back down on Kara's chest. 

Is it wrong, wanting to stay in this moment forever? Probably. Is she going to enjoy every second that it does last? Absolutely. 

Lena's dreading the talk they need to have, dreading the moment that the sentence 'This isn't going to work' spills out of Kara, she knows she'll break the second she hears it. But still, this peace won't last forever, so still, without moving her head, she calls Kara's name. Kara shifts, but doesn't wake. Lena briefly considers leaving it at that. 

"Kara, wake up, darling." She doesn't know where the pet name comes from and it escapes her before she's aware of it, but it does the job.

"Ten more minutes," Kara mumbles, arm tightening around Lena, a frown on her face. Lena chuckles. Typical Kara. 

"We need to talk." Lena hates saying it, but it's true, and she would rather get it over with. Kara groans at that, finally opening her eyes. 

"Okay," She grunts, and sits up, pulling Lena with her. Lena moves to pull away, but Kara's grip is like iron, locking her in place firmly. "Would it be weird to ask you to stay there for this?" Kara's voice is soft and unsure now, and Lena wavers. Kara wants to hold her for this? Why? She's not against it, of course not, Kara is warm and soft and-and she's /Kara/, so being held by her is like being wrapped in sunshine and happiness but...she can't help but wonder if that's a bad idea, all things considered. Her mind is running through a million things at once.

"I...yes, okay, I suppose," Lena doesn't mean for it to come out so awkwardly stilted, so uncomfortable, and Kara reacts immediately, body going stiff.

"You're uncomfortable, aren't you?" She asks, sounding almost crestfallen, "I'm sorry, I shouldn't ha-"

"No! No, it's fine." She tightens her own arms around Kara, clinging to her like she's afraid she's going to disappear. She very well might, Lena thinks. 

"Thank you." Kara smiles, or at least Lena thinks she does, her head is still on Kara's chest, the only difference is they're sitting up now. "I wanted to say- I'm so sorry, Lena."

The admission completely catches Lena off guard, and her mouth opens and closes but nothing comes out. Why is Kara apologising? Hadn't Lena been the one who was wrong? She tries her best to repeat last nights events in her head, and knows it was her own lie that began this whole thing. Doesn't that make it her fault? She remembers fights and disagreements in the Luthor house, remembers being the one at fault for almost all of them. It wouldn't be out of the ordinary for her to be at fault for this, too.

"I...I was really scared for you, and It just..." Kara sighs, her hand stutters into action against Lena's back, rubbing calming circles into Lena's sleep shirt. "My feelings were hurt and I lashed out. I wanted you to be honest with me and when you weren't, I took it too personally. It's not your fault, I know how hard you're trying. I'm so sorry, I was so /mean/ to you," Kara's voice cracks at that, and she sounds so ashamed that Lena thinks that quite possibly, Kara is telling the truth. It wasn't only Lena's fault. "I feel terrible about it, I never wanted to hurt you like that, ever! Lena, if you could forgive me-"

Lena's had enough of Kara apologising and placing all of the blame on herself. Lena had made a promise, moving forward, to be more honest about how she was doing with Kara, at the very least for the baby's sake. She knew what she was doing when she lied, and if she was being honest with herself as well, she'd known at the time that Kara would know it was a lie when she said she was fine. Part of her had wanted Kara to recoil from her, wanted her to get mad- mostly so she didn't have to feel as bad about her feelings for her. It hadn't worked, and all it had done was make them both feel awful. 

"No."

Kara startles at that, her hand freezing in place on Lena's back, whole body too still. "Okay," She whispers quietly, sounding completely devastated, and Lena realises her mistake quickly.

"No, that's not- I mean, no, it wasn't all just you, Kara." She explains in a hurry to stop the other woman from jumping to conclusions. "You're not wrong, I did lie, and I'm sorry for that as well. I did promise to be more honest with you and that's not what I did last night," Not /too/ honest, Lena thinks miserably. "I'll try to be better as well."

"Lena-" Kara begins, and Lena shakes her head, a surprisingly difficult thing to do when she's lying against Kara's chest. She holds their intertwined hands up so Kara can see them, huffs, and exasperated, she asks,

"Can we please just settle on it being both of our faults and move on? Because that's the case, Kara." 

Kara's chest rumbles against Lena as the Kryptonion laughs, and Kara looks down at her, looking ridiculous from this angle, and smiles. "Okay, that- that works too."

"Good." Lena grins back, snuggling her head into Kara's chest. "This honesty thing..."

"Mm?"

"If I'm being honest, I thought you were going to leave." Lena admits, though she's still smiling because Kara /didn't/. Kara didn't leave, Kara is staying here, wants to be here, and if that doesn't make Lena's entire year. 

Kara pauses, and then the hand that isn't in Lena's leaves the other woman's back and pulls her hair back from her face. "Never, Lena. I'm not ever going away."

Lena just hums as her eyelids fall heavy again. "Suppose we fell back asleep," She murmurs quietly, warm and still sleepy, "Do you think the world would stop turning?" 

"Well, considering its six am, I doubt it." 

Lena blinks, surprised. She definitely hadn't thought it was still so early, but it made sense that she was still tired now, remembering she'd woken herself, instead of to her alarm.

"I wouldn't mind an extra hour," Kara adds a moment later, almost too eagerly, and Lena laughs. 

"Just wait until the baby is born, we'll be up at all hours of the night soothing her," Lena muses out loud, picturing Kara, poor sweet thing that she is, up in the middle of the night, hair a mess and half asleep, soothing a baby in her arms. It's a nice picture, a lovely one, and she can't wait to see it. 

Kara pulls Lena up so that their faces are level, looks at her with the most earnest of expressions, and says, with the utmost seriousness, "That baby can wake me up whenever it wants to. I will gladly give up sleep."

"You? Give up sleep? Don't make me laugh, Kara," Lena snorts, grinning. Kara just shakes her head.

"Lena, I'm serious. I'm going to be there for everything, I mean, I'm hoping we'll take turns, but whenever he or she needs me I will /always/ be there. No matter how small or insignificant, I will be there."

Lena frowns, looks at Kara with new eyes. This is a woman who lost everything, her family, her home, her heritage, this is a woman who lost everything and came out of it with more love in her heart than anybody in this world. She's always thought that Kara was just lonely, but that she'd worked through it. Maybe it took more of a toll on her than she'd initially thought. It was, after all, a huge and devastating event in Kara's life, and she berates herself for assuming that she and Clark had worked through it, that Kara could ever just be okay after something like that. Clearly, there are some abandonment issues lingering there, and Lena worries for her. 

"Do you miss them?" She asks, and there's no question of who she's talking about, Kara's whole demeanour shrinking. 

"Every single day." 

Lena's sure she's about to say the wrong thing, but she doesn't want to hold back with Kara and doesn't want Kara to hold back with her either. "Are you angry at them for what they did?"

"I'm...I'm furious. Sometimes I think I hate them. I know that's messed up, they saved my life- but they didn't ask me what I wanted, you know? They didn't ask me how I felt about any of it, they just told me I was going, that I had to take care of my cousin, just a little baby, by myself. I was twelve, Lena. I didn't know anything, I was just a kid- I, I was relieved when he had already grown up. I was so relieved, and I felt so guilty for it. I was supposed to take care of him. He had to take care of me instead. Sometimes, sometimes I just think that maybe -I'm sorry, I'll stop-"

"Don't you dare," Lena interrupts, grabbing hold of Kara's shaking hands gently, "What we have- it goes both ways. I want you to trust me with the truth, with how you really feel about things. Kara, you are allowed to be upset. You're allowed to be angry. How you feel is important, it's valid. Talk to me, you know I would never think any less of you." She's using Kara's own words back at her, words that had meant everything to her when she first heard them. She can only hope that Kara will listen. To be honest, she'd taken them in and then dismissed them at first, herself.

"I..." Kara bites her lip, looks at Lena carefully, obviously deciding how to phrase whatever it is she's thinking. "I love my life here, Lena. I love having a sister, and Eliza and Jeremiah have been so good to me. I love being a reporter, and everything that comes with it. And, you know, I love you and this baby. So much, Lena, please don't doubt that, but..." she swallows hard, eyes boring holes into the ceiling. "I didn't want to go. I lost everything that day, i sometimes think, maybe if I'd stayed with them, I could've found peace. I dream about it sometimes, dream about dying with them. Clark was fine without me, in the end, you know?"

Lena's vision blurs, looking at Kara, she blinks away tears. "Kara, I can't even imagine what that would have been like. Nothing I could ever say will make it better, I know that," She thinks of dark hair and softly sung lullabies, of the loving mother she was torn away from before she was taken to live with the Luthors. She can't even remember her face anymore, and that pains her more than anything. If she'd had a picture even, she might not hurt as much. She can't remember her dying, only that she was told it was a car accident. She remembers being four years old and alone, feeling angry and lost. She tries to imagine how much worse it was for Kara, but she can't possibly ever know, truly, what that was like. "But I understand. I understand why you're angry, and it's okay. You have so much love in your heart Kara, but you don't have to pretend that's all you have. Not with me, never with me. You may be Kryptonion, but you're more human than most. I'm here, and our child will never lose us. Our child will know more love than we ever have." 

Kara sniffles, nods, and turns her face into Lena's hair, holding on almost too tightly. It hurts, a little bit, but Lena resolves not to say anything to break the moment, to let Kara cry, to let her just let go. 

"You're going to be the best mother in the universe, I've never been more certain of anything in my life." Lena says softly, her hand coming to rest on the back of Kara's head soothingly. 

"We." Kara frowns. "We will."

Lena cracks a smile, "This is one lucky baby." 

"Yeah. So lucky." Kara murmurs, pulling back to look at Lena, but her eyes hold more meaning than Lena knows what do to with, so she looks away. 

"I'm too awake to sleep more," Lena says after a moment. "I think I'll get up and go in early."

Kara looks slightly disappointed, but she doesn't say anything about it. Lena pulls away from her and slides down the bed, mentally listing everything she'll need for the day. Kara stays where she is, silent.

"I'll let you know if some time frees up during the day, we can do lunch?" Lena asks hopefully, and Kara nods eagerly.

"Yes! Lunch. We will do that. Lunch is good." Kara rambles, getting up and reaching for her phone, as if already waiting for the text. Lena hides a grin and moves for the closet, ready to start the day, and relieved that she and Kara have come through this even stronger than they had been before. 

Maggie and Alex are both waiting for her when she gets into the office that morning, wearing matching mischievous looks that do nothing but set alarm bells ringing in Lena's head. She's not at all expecting them, but when she glances to Jess for an explanation, her young assistant just raises her arms and makes a face, bereft of any answers. She recognises that as the same expression she wears when Kara runs past her into the office during meetings. 

"Morning, Luthor," Maggie says, a little too chipper. 

"Good morning." Lena hesitates, then places her purse down on her desk and sits down. she may as well get ready to begin work whether the two are present or not, and that way she has things to fiddle with should things get awkward or uncomfortable. Maggie and Alex settle in the chairs in front of her desk happily, Maggie even going so far as to grab the obscure paperweight sculpture off her desk and turn it upside down as she looks at it in disgust.

"This thing is hideous." Maggie tells her, matter-of-factly, and tosses it from hand to hand. Lena rolls her eyes.

"It cost three thousand dollars, Maggie." The older woman's eyes widen comically and she rushes to put it back down, then turns judgemental eyes on Lena.

"Who spends that kind of money on a paperweight?"

"Maggie," Alex winces, "Shut up." 

"No, no, she's right. I spend a lot on this office, I have to. It's all about appearances, in the business world. Unfortunately." Lena sighs, shaking her head slightly. "It's ridiculous, but it's kind of like the way men like to measure their appendages."

"I get it." Maggie nods, a wince edging at the corners of her lips. "It's a man's world." 

"Indeed. So, is there any particular reason for this visit? Not that it's not good to see you both." 

Mischief returns to their faces, ten times stronger than they'd originally had, and Lena wishes she could go back in time and not have asked that, instead letting them forget their purpose. 

"Kara's Earth birthday is coming up." Alex beams, and Lena's not entirely sure what to make of it. Earth birthday? Is that the same thing as a normal birthday, but for a Kryptonion? Did they have more days of the year in Krypton, so they had to round it off to a different day in Earth? Her train of thought runs wild with the possibilities of what that could mean. "Lena?" 

"Right, Kara's Earth birthday. Which is what exactly?" Lena asks, all too curious. 

"It's the day she arrived on Earth. We celebrate it every year. We were thinking, maybe this year you'd like to help us plan it?" Alex poses the question with a hopeful smile. She and Lena had managed to build some kind of- some kind of something, Lena's not sure how she'd define their current relationship. Whatever it is, they're verging on friendship, she thinks.

"You are her baby mama and all," Maggie adds, waggling her eyebrows inappropriately and Lena is struck with a horrible feeling that Maggie knows. Knows how Lena feels about Kara, that is, and the thought terrifies her.

"Yes, I would love to. Help with the party that is. How much do you need? She'll need all her favourite foods available-"

She'll need pizza and potstickers, spaghetti, grilled cheese- probably hash browns too, it won't be breakfast time but that's never stopped Kara. Lena wonders if she should bake a lasagna, Kara had mentioned she really liked it last time...

"Lena, jeez, we don't want you to pay for it." Alex frowns, which is confusing because what else would they need from her? Maggie jabs Alex with her elbow and Alex raises her hands, "Okay well, we're all putting in, but apart from that, we thought you might actually want to be involved in it. Y'know, help decide what we do. Distract her for the day while we set it up."

"Oh." Lena feels blank. She's never been involved in anything like this before, doesn't know how to do anything like that. As much as she'd like to help- what if she wasn't good at it? 

"I bet Kara would be really thankful," Maggie adds, an amused lilt to her voice as she quirks an eyebrow at Lena. Yes, she absolutely knows, Lena realises with horror. 

"Yeah, I'm sure she would," Alex agrees, raising a confused eyebrow at Maggie, "She always is, no matter what we do."

"Oh, Alex," Maggie chuckles, "I'm sure."

Okay. Lena needed to do something about this, because if Maggie told Alex and Alex told Kara, it would all be over. The only problem is, the only reason she can think of for spending more time with Maggie non conspicuously, would be to help with the party. A plan formulates in Lena's head, and a practiced smile appears on her face. She folds her arms on her desk.

"I'd love to help. Of course, Maggie, I'll need your phone number to be able to talk with the both of you."

They both grin at their success. "Awesome, Lena, Kara's going to love you for this," Alex says excitedly, and Maggie snorts. "I'll add you to the group chat, then you'll have everybody's number." 

"Perfect."

They leave soon after going over a few details - food, mostly, and music, then going on to say they'll give her a call that night to discuss more, before they both leave, needing to go to work themselves. 

Lena's not sure how she feels about this. She knows she feels scared, when it comes to Maggie knowing, but aside from that she also feels kind of touched, that they'd thought of her for this. Clearly they had decided to welcome her into the family and Lena's just not sure what to do with that. Everything has been changing so very quickly, and while it's mostly good, it's also a little frightening. If she never got attached to anything, she never had to lose anything. Yet here she is, falling into place in this family, in love with her best friend, and having a baby. With more things to lose than she could count. 

She has to admit that she's happy, though. Happier than she'd ever been, so maybe it was time to stop waiting for things to come to an end and start enjoying them? 

She moves on to going through and replying to her emails for an hour, a thankless job, but a necessary one, and then onto some of the proposals her head of department has sent through, she approves few and scraps most, and she's grateful for the break when Jess appears in her doorway.

"Miss Luthor?" Jess strolls into the room, binder in hand and grimace on her face. "The new Wayne contract has arrived, and its-uh, well, it's something alright." 

"Hand it over then," Lena holds her hands out, eager to finally finish drumming out the details and approve the contract so they can move forward. The project they're collaborating on is one she's excited to get started with, a piece of tech taking the form of a ring that can dramatically change the wearers appearance. The demographic is burn victims, disfigured soldiers, and aliens. Those who wish to simply fit in in a world that does nothing but judge. Lena thinks Kara would be proud. Jess bites her lip and passes it to her, taking a seat. There's nothing but quiet for a while as Lena reads and Jess watches, her whole frame a bundle of nerves in a chair. 

"What the hell is this?" Lena asks, the second she's finished with the contract, a dissatisfied scowl on her face. "It's like he's screwing with me." 

Jess snorts and nods, "Each contract just gets more and more ridiculous," She agrees, from where she's sitting in front of Lena's desk, legs pulled up underneath her as she scans a few pages. "Maybe he's having some kind of mental break."

"It says I have to buy him a puppy in the fine print. I don't- Jesus Christ. What is going on with him?" Lena scowls, holding the paper up for Jess even though she knows Jess has already read it over, finding the situation almost too much to believe. 

"That's one of his less weird requests," Jess adds, pointedly. "The guy's lost it. Old age does that to people."

Lena would agree, except she's seen the projects Wayne Enterprises has come out with in the last year, and they're all exceptional. Being sixty seven hasn't at all taken its toll on Bruce Wayne's exceptional mind, as far as she can tell. Well, aside from this insane contract, that is.

 

"It has never taken L-Corp this long just to settle on a contract." Lena groans, rubbing her temples. "Why on earth is he being so difficult?" 

Jess tilts her head, contemplative. "Maybe instead of just sending it back with our notes- which he seems to be ignoring anyway, you should speak to him? I could set up a video conference for this afternoon?" 

That does actually sound like the best move, Lena agrees. It's been nearly impossible to deal with this back and forth, the original contract had been strange, but the revised copies? They were on a whole other level. It was like Bruce Wayne was the cat, and L-Corp was a mouse that he was playing with. Lena just doesn't understand /why/ though. He'd been the one to intitiate contact, to begin negotiations, it'd only taken a few days of talking before they'd come up with a project to collaborate on, and yet now he was sending completely different signals. Was he waiting for her to pull a Luthor and snap? To put a hit out on him? She surely wasn't going to be doing anything like that. So, Lena is completely non plussed by this game she hadn't been aware he was playing until now. What exactly is his intention, here? 

"Alright, Jess. Go ahead and set it up- if he disagrees, perhaps we'll just have to cut our losses and move on. We can't be negotiating contracts forever, we'll never get anything of value done." 

Jess nods, and swipes the papers from the table, knocking them against the table to straighten them and then sliding them into a plastic binder. "I'm sure we can resolve this," Jess says, sighing, "Otherwise this has all been for nothing."

"Yes, well, lets not give up hope just get," Lena murmurs, smiling softly at her assistant. "You've been a great help with all of this."

"I do what I can," Jess shrugs, blushing a little. "I just hope it works out."

"I also hope so," Lena says, though truthfully she doesn't hold much hope for it. She has a feeling that Bruce is going to pull out of the project, which would be quite a shame, but nothing to grieve her over. She can probably do it alone, though she'd rather not, long hours at work aren't the greatest thing for the baby. 

She shoots Kara a text after Jess has taken her leave, letting her know she's free for lunch, and it takes only a few minutes for Kara to show up at her door, practically glowing. It infinitely lightens the mood of the room.

"Hey! How's my favourite CEO going today?" She asks, dropping into the now vacant chair in front of Lena's desk. 

"I'm the only CEO you're having a baby with, so I'm pretty sure I have to be your favourite by default." Lena muses aloud, a matching grin on her face. 

"You were my favourite before that too, Lena," Kara chuckles, "It's just a super plus that you're also having my baby."

"Well, your baby is starving." Lena admits, and then aims a playful glare at her. "Probably inherited the neverending hunger from you, actually."

"Hey!" Kara pouts, then tilts her head in thought. "Okay, you're probably right there. You barely eat though so it's actually a good thing that Superbaby is making sure you do." 

"Good point," Lena chuckles, "What are you in the mood for?"

"Pizza?"

Lena makes a face. There's no way she could stomach that right now.

"Okay, um, we could get Chinese?" 

"Not today."

"Sandwiches?" 

Lena shakes her head.

"Why did you ask me then? You pick something," Kara laughs, shaking her head in amusement.

"Oh, it was the polite thing to do," Lena shrugs, though Kara's absolutely right, she probably should have decided. "I wouldn't mind a grilled cheese, actually."

Kara gapes for a moment, stunned. "You, the superfood connoisseur, want a grilled cheese? Is it Opposite Day?"

Lena just laughs, standing up and grabbing her purse. "Blame the baby, Kara." 

"The baby saved me from eating kale, I think I'll thank the baby instead," Kara chimes, and Lena rolls her eyes.

"Kale is good for you, and it's delicious."

"The devils green leaf is disgusting, and I hate it."

"Then why do you always eat it when I get it for you?" 

"Because people make sacrifices for love," Kara jokes, and Lena's heart skips a beat. She means friendship love, she has to remind herself. 

"Yes. Well." Lena clears her throat. "Shall we?"

"We shall!" Kara locks her arm around Lena's with a comic level of enthusiasm. "To the grilled cheeses!" 

"You're adorable."

"Says you, nerd." 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bruce Wayne is old. Therefore batman is old. People can kick ass regardless of age. Just throwing that in there. I really hope you guys liked the way Kara and Lena handled things, and there is a reason behind Bruce's weird behaviour. That's all I'm gonna say about it  
> ;)


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lena deals with Bruce, Jess and Lena have 'the friend talk' and things get a little intense and heavy.

"Are you scared?" Kara's not sure what's possessed her to say such a thing, not sure why she so desperately wants to know the answer either. Lena's frozen mid bite of her side salad, and a leaf of lettuce falls from her open mouth onto the half eaten burger below. Kara would've laughed, if it hadn't been for the awful tension that she'd brought into the room. Why did she ask that? Kara winces to herself and shakes her head. "You don't have to answer that, sorry, that was- that was a stupid question."

Lena tilts her head, finishes her mouthful, and then finally meets Kara's eyes with her own. There's a storm hiding inside them, Kara can tell, and she's not sure if it's about the question or about the fact that Kara actually asked it.

"I..." Lena takes a breath, folds her hands arms over each other on the wooden table and nods. "My mother wants to kidnap me- with my consent, oddly enough. She also wants to kill our child. I think that's more than enough to scare anyone in their right mind, don't you?" 

Kara bites her lip. That actually hadn't been what she was asking about, but she could just let it be about that, ignore the burning question that had been bothering her for a while now, and Lena wouldn't have to know. Except, it doesn't seem that her mouth and her brain are connected any longer, and the truth pours out of her, much to her own horror. "Oh, yeah, your mother is- she's something else alright, and we've got an eye on that - I know that doesn't help cause she's like- she's like the worst, you know?" 

Lena's eyebrow quirks in amusement. "Well, yes, she is 'the worst'," though the beginnings of a laugh are showing on her face. Kara groans. 

"That's not- she's evil, I know the worst is putting it like super simply-" she pauses for a moment and chuckles, "heh, super- but I was talking about the baby. And us. Us and the baby. The baby and you and me- that. You're scared aren't you?" 

Lena blinks as her brain sorts through Kara's rambling, then puts down the burger she'd been about to take a bite of. "I see. Kara, I'm excited, actually." She says softly, frowning, "Are you afraid? Is that what's going on right now? It's okay if you are, I'll understand."

Kara fiddles with a piece of tomato that has slipped from within her own burger. It leaves her fingertips moist and tinged red. "Well, you see, the thing is that I don't actually know any kids. You! You hang out with kids all the time." At Lena's puzzled expression, she shakes her head and adds, "All the charity work you do, I've seen the pictures and the videos and you know exactly what you're doing, kids love you. I don't know anything about kids. Like, at all." 

"Oh, Kara," Lena's hand finds Kara's, pries the tomato from her fingers and wipes it off with a napkin before taking it in her own. "You're Supergirl. I've seen you with children too-"

"That's not Kara!" Kara grumbles, exasperated, even as her fingers clench around Lena's. "Supergirl is easy. Everyone likes Supergirl by default, it seems like. The only kid I know is Carter, and I lost him for an entire afternoon. I can't just be losing our kid all the time, what if I never find them again?" She bemoans, and Lena chuckles, much to Kara's indignation.

"If you're that concerned about it then perhaps let'a veto playing hide and seek," She grins, and Kara can't help it, she laughs too.

"Lena, I'm serious though," She tries her best but there's still too much mirth in her tone, and a huge grin on her face. 

"So am I, Hide and Seek, officially banned from the Danvers household." Lena says, in all earnestness, and Kara chokes on a giggle when the sentence processes.

"Danvers household? The baby's not going to be a Luthor?" She's not sure why she's surprised, it's just that Lena's the one having the baby, and they're living in Lena's apartment, it made sense for the baby to be a Luthor too.

Lena practically gags at the suggestion. "Do you honestly think that's in any way a good idea? No, no I won't have my child suffer based solely on their last name. I won't do it." 

Kara pauses, thoughtful. "The baby will have us, Lena. You're already changing everyone's perceptions of a Luthor, who's to say that all of that won't be different once the baby is old enough to understand it?"

Lena shakes her head, suddenly solemn. "The thing about hate, Kara, is that people will cling onto it. Once they've made a decision about someone or something, they don't care what you do to try to turn it around. People hate because they want to. Some people even hate because they like it. Then there's the people who have a more personal past with my family. They won't let go so easily, Kara, I can promise you that." 

Kara nods, solemn, because Lena is right. Lena's usually right, unless she's talking down on herself. Kara tries to picture what a life would be like for a little Luthor, and her mind instantly jumps to bullies in the playgrounds. No, no she won't let that happen either. She just wishes there was something else she could do, as Supergirl she'd taken her place beside Lena at every event and function, told the press time after time to trust her, yet it seemed to do nothing. In fact, she remembers an article coming out earlier in the year that basically said the city should be worried about Supergirl under a Luthor's influence. She'd torn it to shreds, but that didn't change the fact that majority of the public had already seen it. 

"I promise you," Kara murmurs quietly, reaching for Lena's hand across the table and holding on tight, "I'll fight anyone who tries anything when it comes to you or superbaby." 

Lena snorts, blushes at the sound, and shakes her head in delighted amusement. "Not if I do first, Kara. I am a Luthor after all." She quirks an eyebrow cheekily, squeezes Kara's hand I return, and then lets go to get back to her food.

"How is that the worst and the best trump card ever? That's so unfair." Kara pouts, though Lena doesn't respond, hiding her smile behind her burger.

 

...

When Lena strides back into her office, the first thing she spots is the triumphant grin on Jess's face as she holds up a sticky note. 

"He agreed to the conference! It's ten minutes from now, so you have time to prepare."

"Jess, you're amazing." Lena beams back, accepting the high five Jess offers. Jess ducks her head, and plays with the hem of her sweater. Lena wonders how she managed to get an assistant this great at her job, this lovely in general really - she had found the one assistant in national city that didn't care about her last name, that in itself was a miracle. Lena shoots Jess one last smile before heading towards her office doors, only for Jess to jump into step beside her, following along.

"I actually took out all the pages you put a marker on and sorted them in order of less out there to completely outrageous for you," She explains, holds a hand out to point the stack out to her. Lena frowns, while Jess has always been great at her job, it's a little weird that she was doing things she usually left to Lena.

"Right," Lena murmurs, eyes moving from the papers to Jess, and then back again as realisation dawns. "Jess?"

"Yes? Do you need a glass of water? Something to eat? Should I text Kara?" Jess is getting increasingly worked up with each question and Lena bites her lip, hoping that she doesn't look too much like she's laughing at her. 

"No, no, Jess, I think we need to have a talk."

"Of course, what about?"

"I'm pregnant." Lena says bluntly, as she lifts the papers so she can sit on her desk (something she'd not normally do, but she's hoping taking a more casual stance will make this a little less intimidating for Jess).

"I know," Jess looks a bit confused now, her head tilted and her fingers laced together. 

"What I mean is, I'm just pregnant. I'm still just as capable of doing everything as I was before. I know you're just trying to help, Jess, and I appreciate it. You're the best assistant I've ever had, you know that, but I would like to go about things in relatively the same way as before, until That's no longer an option. Do you understand?" 

Jess winces, and takes a step forward. "I'm so sorry, Lena. That was really unprofessional of me. I just worry about you sometimes-"

Lena blinks. "You worry?"

Jess snorts and nods, "Of course I do. I see you every weekday all day, it'd be weird if I didn't. I..." she pauses, looks at Lena with a slight flush to her cheeks. "I feel like we're friends?" Jess shakes her head, "That's unprofessional to say too, isn't it?"

Lena just stares at her for a moment. Kara was right. Jess did consider her a friend. Lena's baffled now, completely caught off guard. "Jess..." 

 

"I'll go back to my desk now. I'm sorry, Miss Luthor." Jess says quietly, and then hurries off before Lena can say a thing to stop her. 

The call comes through moments later, and Lena watches as the monitor mounted on the wall jumps to life, accepting the incoming call within moments.

Bruce Wayne looks tired. That's the first thing Lena notices when she scans him, he looks exhausted. It's inappropriate to mention though, so she powers through, crossing her arms and leaning against her desk.

"Mr. Wayne."

"Miss Luthor. You are a sight for sore eyes." There's nothing but softness in his gaze, so while she would usually brush a comment like that off, she gives him an attempt at a smile instead.

"I wanted to discuss the contract, I'm sure you understand why." She raises an eyebrow at him, and she's quite sure she sees a flash of guilt on his face, but in seconds it's gone and replaced with a blank expression.

"Yes, I do understand." He acknowledges, his gaze drifting behind the monitor and back, "Miss Luthor, while I think this is a great project, with astounding potential, I think it's a bit ambitious."

Lena's heart sinks as he speaks, and she folds her arms over her chest, fingernails brushing against her arms a little too harshly. "Then I suppose you may as well cut your losses, Mr. Wayne." 

Bruce Wayne shakes his head, "A bit ambitious considering the difficulty of a long distance collaboration. I'll be visiting National City for a few months as of the twenty-third, and I believe that during that period we could complete the project completely." 

Lena opens and closes her mouth, stunned. She'd known he'd be in town for a while, but she hadn't known how long or why. For a moment she wonders if she pinches herself, would she wake up? Had he been waiting around for her to initiate the conversation? If so, why? It really didn't make sense and Lena feels like every interaction she'd had with Bruce Wayne had resulted in a wicked case of whiplash.

"Well," She begins, unfolding her arms and placing her hands down on either side of her against her desk. "I would certainly be open to that, so long as there aren't anymore ah...miscommunications, with the contract." 

Bruce smiles, crinkles showing at the edges of his face, and nods. "Excellent. I'll send a revised contract to you myself on arrival. I look forward to working together, Miss Luthor."

She nods curtly, still utterly baffled, and repeats the sentiment back to him. Once the call is disconnected, she stares at the blank screen and shakes her head. What a strange, strange man. At least, though, the project still was a green light and moving forward faster than Lena had expected. Delight thrums through her veins and she couldn't wipe the smile off her face, even if she tried. 

"Things go well?" Jess pokes her head around the corner, looking nervous as hell, and Lena sighs. She really needs to sort this out before it becomes anything more than it already is- which is frustrating because she'd never meant to make it a /thing/ in the first place.

"Yes, things went very well," Lena smiles softly, and tilts her head towards the empty spot next to her on the desk. "Can we speak candidly for a moment, Jess?" 

Her assistant chews her lip, glancing between Lena and the desk anxiously, before nodding and coming to sit beside Lena, her whole frame burning with nervous energy.

"Am I about to be politely fired?" Jess asks quietly, obviously trying to sound calmer than she is, and Lena winces. How was it that she could make literally everything into a mess? Why couldn't things just slow down enough for her to catch onto what she's saying and how she's saying it, /before/ things get out of hand? 

"No, You'd have to do worse than being the best at your job for me to fire you." Lena says, fondly patting Jess on the knee. It's weird, she's not really a tactile person except around Kara, but she has a feeling that the touch will help. It does, Jess's stiffness draining from her figure and confusion replacing the fear painting her sharp features.

"Do you need me to organise something for you then?"

"No, no. Look, Jess, I'm not particularly good with people. I'm the opposite of a social butterfly, and I'd much rather do a month's paperwork than have a meaningful conversation," Lena admits, letting out a long breath. Her eyes drift to Jess, who is nodding in agreement, looking slightly amused now. "But I do want you to know that I enjoy talking to you. I enjoy working with you. I struggle sometimes realising when people actually care about me, and Kara's helping with that. I just- I wanted you to know, Jess, that I consider you a friend as well as an assistant. I hadn't really considered that you saw me as a friend as well. Does that- That makes sense, doesn't it?" Lena shifts uncomfortably, pouring as much feeling into her words as she speaks, hoping that Jess will believe her. She can't lose another person because of her obliviousness. Especially not someone like Jess, who's been there for her through absolutely everything and not once faltered in her support. 

"Lena," Jess's voice is too quiet, and Lena's head snaps up and her eyes widen when she realises her assistant's eyes are red. 

"Oh, no, I've made you cry," Lena's horrified, and she instantly gets to her feet and briskly heads for the water, pouring Jess a glass and bringing it back with unnecessary urgency. "Here, water." Not exactly eloquent, but how is one normally supposed to behave after distressing their assistant by pouring their heart out to them? 

Jess takes the glass and a rumble of laughter escapes her. She holds it close to her chest, not taking a single sip, and smiles at Lena. "No, I- that was really sweet. I'm just a bit emotional is all. Thank you. Really." 

Lena feels the tension fade from her bones as a bashful grin takes up residence on her face. She hasn't messed anything up, Jess is /happy/, and they're friends now. Friends! 

"It just needed to be said," She attempts a nonchalant tone, but she's still beaming and Jess is beaming just as brightly back. "So, Bruce Wayne wants to work together in person for the next few months." 

Jess gapes. "After all that?" 

"I know!" Lena shakes her head in baffled amusement. 

...

Her back aches like nothing else by the time her work day ends, and she winces as she stretches, taking small pleasure in the soft cracks she can hear as she twists in her seat. She lets her head fall into her hands as the ache seems to overwhelm all of her senses. Really, it's just cruel irony that she can't just pop a pill and feel better like she normally would. Although the baby did mean she wasn't abusing painkillers and ignoring the signs of exhaustion these days. 

With a strangled groan she reaches for her phone. She hates flying, but she hates the idea of taking over half an hour to get into bed even more, and she's fairly sure Kara would be willing to help. Ninety percent sure. Ten percent sure that Kara will be offended that she's asking her to use her powers for something so mundane and selfish. 

She pushes down those thoughts and shoots Kara a text about her back, hoping that Kara will come to the same conclusion on her own so she won't have to ask. She doesn't get a reply, but a few minutes pass and she hears the familiar sound of boots touching down on the balcony. 

Kara lets herself in, wearing civilian clothes, much to Lena's surprise and amusement. 

"Do you often fly about like that?" She asks, curious, and Kara blushes, shrugging her shoulders.

"Sorta? I mean, I can go pretty fast, I don't think anyone saw me."

"How I didn't figure out who you are sooner is a mystery to me." Lena chuckles, sliding papers into her bag and getting to her feet. "Would you mind-"

"Oh, I'm here to fly you home. If that wasn't obvious." Kara's smile is blinding and Lena matches it easily. The pain is duller now, considering her entire focus is on Kara now. She wonders, for a moment, how Kara hasn't realised what she means to her yet. She can't imagine she's being very subtle. 

"Thank you, Kara. Could you fly slowly, though?"

"That was the plan. Plus, I've got the perfect spot for you to hide your head the whole way home," She jokes, pointing at her collarbone with a dorky giggle. Lena rolls her eyes, and slings her bag over her shoulder.

"People think you're some stoic hero, but you really just want to cuddle all the time." 

"This is true." Kara admits, unashamed, and holds her hands out, wiggling her fingers. "Get in here."

Lena pretends to think about it, before tilting her head with an exaggerated sigh. "If I must."

She steps into Kara's embrace, can feel the warmth radiating from her body and it instantly sets her at ease. Kara's arms twist around her, an arm sliding under her and lifting her legs up. Lena's almost ashamed of the way her cheeks burn and her head drops onto Kara's chest. Almost. 

"How's superbaby tonight?" Kara asks softly as she carries her towards the balcony. "Giving you any trouble?"

"Surprisingly, no- Christ, Kara, a little warning would've been nice!" She gasps out, as Kara takes off. 

"Sorry!" Kara shouts over the sound of the wind passing by them. "My bad!"

Lena just squeezes her eyes shut and buries her face in Kara's sweater, eagerly anticipating the end of the flight home. Kara's hands tighten around her, and Lena sinks into the touch, desperate for something solid to hold onto. The nausea sneaks up on her, vicious and clawing its way through her body with a vengeance. Lena swallows an excess of saliva repeatedly, trying the best she can to stave off the inevitable- she really didn't want some poor unsuspecting civilian to end up covered in her stomach contents, after all. 

The second Kara's feet touch the stone of her balcony, Lena lurches and rather violently rejects everything she's eaten throughout the day. Her stomach tightening and churning relentlessly, much to her dismay. In a panic, Kara lowers her to the ground and crouches down next to her. She doesn't have to look to know she and Kara are both unlucky enough to have been in the crossfire. Her cheeks flood with heat, a cold sweat breaking across her forehead and upper lip as she fights to regain control of her heaving body. Kara's hands on her are gentle, fingers tracing a soft pattern on her back and Lena leans back into them as soon as the attack comes to an end- though she's still sputtering and gagging and she feels like death. 

"Hey, you're okay," Kara murmurs softly into the shell of her ear, "you're fine, i think it's over, baby," Kara wraps an arm around her, her other hand rubbing gently on the bare skin of Lena's forearm. 

She's too preoccupied with the scratch in her throats and the burn in her chest to appreciate the pet name, though later she'll overthink it until her head spins and her brain hurts. "God," She husks, as her hand clenches down on the arm Kara has around her, as though she could somehow absorb some solidity from her skin. 

"I guess I jinxed it," Kara muses, almost to herself, and Lena struggles to figure out what she means. Everything is a blur of discomfort and humiliation at the moment, and she the fact that she doesn't understand what Kara is saying is frustrating to say the least. Kara quickly catches on at Lena's lack of response. "I asked about the baby- and you said it wasn't making things too bad today." 

Lena manages a choked laugh, and ignores the rancid smell lingering in her sinuses. "You're right. This is all-" She pauses to cough up something she'd rather not remember being a part of her lunch, "All your fault, Kara Danvers."

"I can't help that my words are so powerful," Kara goofs, seeming completely unbothered by the fact that she's been vomited on, "It's a gift."

Lena only groans, bile rising up in her throats again, burning everything in its path. "I hate you," She lies grumpily, "You did this to me. You and your stupid DNA." 

Kara actually has the temerity to laugh in the face of her misery, her hair cold from the flight when it brushes against the feverish skin of Lena's cheek. "No, you don't," Her voice is full of mirth, as sweet as the donuts she so loves, "You think I'm the greatest, most awesome-est friend ever. You /love/ me." The teasing tone of her voice only serves to make Lena flinch into herself a little bit. Kara pauses at the movement, eyebrows furrowing. 

"Sorry." Lena mumbles, twisting her fingers together and then wincing when stickiness spreads across them. Kara frowns and reaches out, helping Lena to her feet. 

"Lets get cleaned up then," She says, but there's discomfort mingling with worry in her tone, and she knows that it's because she flinched. If she could take it back... 

Kara leads her to the bathroom, hands her some clothes, out of seemingly nowhere, and then disappears into the bedroom. Lena forces herself to stand under the shower spray, turning the heat up substantially and barely enjoying the way the pressure alleviated the tension in her back. There's too much she wants to apologise for, though, and so the shower doesn't last long. By the time she walks out into the living room, Kara's changed into a soft Henley and panama pants, her hair tied back. She perks a little when the Luthor enters the room, but her expression is far too subdued for Lena's liking. She sits herself down beside Kara, despite there being a free sofa across from her.

There's a moment, then, when they're both too wrapped up in their own thoughts to speak- Lena wishing Kara's teasing hadn't been so painfully on the nose, and Kara- well, she isn't really sure what's got Kara so thoughtful. She can only hope that her reaction hadn't given away just how right Kara had been. 

The silence has moved well beyond uncomfortable as time passes, tension filling the air between them. It tugs at Lena's chest like somebody's got a firm hold on her heart. She can't let it go on any longer, every second that goes by feels like an empty year. 

"I don't hate you." She says, instead of, 'I love you in ways that I shouldn't.' "I shouldn't have ever said that." She adds, instead of 'It hurts to think about how much I really do love you'. 

"Hey, it's okay," Kara consoles, because 'forgiving' is probably her middle name, and her arms, that had seconds ago been frozen in place at her side, shift into movement around Lena, though now it's softer, tentative, and Lena worries that maybe she's hurt Kara's feelings, reacting the way she did. "You're feeling crappy, it wasn't the time for jokes. That was on me."

Lena could just let her take the blame for it, but she'd always know that if those pesky, inconvenient feelings hadn't been there, she'd have appreciated Kara's endeavour to lighten the mood. Knowing that, means also knowing that letting this slide might mean that Kara would hold back next time. She'd hold back a part of herself, that constant sunny, optimistic part that made up just about 90% of Kara Danvers. As small as this incident is, Lena can't stand the idea of Kara thinking that Lena doesn't love every single part of her. That Lena doesn't see stars every time Kara spoke passionately about something, that she doesn't hang on every syllable that escapes Kara's lips.

Somehow, she both does and doesn't want Kara to know that every single moment they spend together, is the best thing that's ever happened to her. She notices it now, can decipher what it means, that warmth that grows inside her when Kara is close- she doesn't know how she'd not seen it before. Kara is /everything/ she's honesty and love, mistakes and forgiveness, warmth and balance. One person should not be able to carry so much weight, but Kara does. It's like Kara, funny, kind, strong Kara, is her home. 

It's terrifying, like falling off a cliff blindfolded or pitching herself into a volcano for no reason other than because she /can/. Kara is quite possibly the scariest thing that's ever happened to her, and suddenly Lena is very much regretting the fact that she'd started thinking about this at all. Because thinking about it, actually taking it apart and analysing it had only taken minutes. Before Kara had spoken, Lena had entertained the idea that these feelings might fade away over time. Now, though, she knows that she's in way over her head. This isn't going to go away if she ignores it. The realisation comes with pain, as she's sunk her teeth into her bottom lip in shock, drawing blood. She turns her head quickly before Kara can see it. It's too late now, anyway, she's figured it out, and it would be stupid to keep her mouth shut now. 

"I like it when you do that," She says finally, heedfully avoiding Kara's gaze. She can't trust her own expressions right now, isn't sure what would show on her face if Kara met her eyes. "It helps. That's one of the things I love the most about you. The way you always manage to make tough situations a little more bearable. No matter how hard things get, what you're going through, or how scared you might be. You're always ready to bring a little light in. I don't think I've ever seen you give up on anything. It's...It's lovely, Kara." 

Kara's breath is warm on the tip of her ear and she barely has a few seconds to linger on that before she's pulled into a bone-crushing embrace, Kara's nose pressed into the back of Lena's neck. She can feel Kara's grin against her skin, can almost feel Kara's jubilation radiating from her body. She allows herself to have this moment, because why shouldn't she? Kara clearly wants her close and Lena...Lena just wants Kara to be happy. 

"You," Kara begins, pulling back, her fingers clasping Lena's chin to turn her head so that she can meet her gaze. Bright, joyful flames of burning blue have been lit in Kara's eyes, the intensity of which startles Lena. "Are the most amazing person I've ever met. And boy, am I glad I did meet you. That was- That means so much to me, Lena. You have no idea how much."

"I was only being honest," Lena's voice stubbornly remains quiet, gravelly, and speaking still kind of hurts. Kara's looking at her with so much warmth. Something else, too, but she can't put her finger on it at all. The thing is, she's found Kara to be, most of the time, an open book. Reading Kara is almost always like reading in a language that only she knows, but looking at her now, Lena is stumped. She has no idea what Kara's thinking, or what that look /means/, but she has a feeling that this is all just in her head. She's exhausted, sick- she can't believe that she's managed to forget their previous predicament for even a moment, really - and she's emotionally worn out. Ergo, Kara's probably just being normal Kara, except Lena's brain has decided to switch off. 

That's got to be the reason she can't make sense of it.

"It's more than that, Lena." Kara insists, shaking her head, her tone heavy. Her grip on Lena's chin tightens a fraction, like she thinks Lena may pull away. There was never a chance of that happening, Lena couldn't turn away from Kara if she wanted to. "People usually, they find it annoying. They think I don't get it, that I don't take anything seriously. They don't know how I feel, but they think they do. You just see me, though, Lena. Like nobody else. How do you do that?" Her gaze is probing and puzzled, and Lena realises a second later that Kara is genuinely asking that question. She blinks, unsure of how to explain it. 

The air is too thick and Lena can't answer that question without telling the truth, so she shifts in Kara's arms and lets her eyes drift closed, dropping her head on Kara's shoulder. "I'm exhausted," She murmurs as quietly as she can, knowing Kara can hear it. Kara hesitates, and then lets her evade the question, fingers brushing Lena's hair from her face. 

"Bedtime, then?" 

"Mmmhmm." 

Kara carries her to bed, slowly and carefully, clearly afraid of setting off her uneasy stomach again, and tucks her in, pressing her lips to Lena's forehead as she does so. 

"Get some rest, Le. You've had a tough night."

"Aren't you coming to bed too?" 

"I've got some stuff I need to work on. I'll only be a little while, I promise," 

"Okay." 

Lena watches Kara's back as she leaves, feeling alone from the second Kara had let go. She rolls her eyes at herself, she's acting like she's in some ridiculous drama-romcom, not like the dignified CEO and woman she is. Her hands drift down to her belly, calm washing over her the second her fingertips make contact. 

"You must be getting really bored with all of this," She whispers, despite the fact that she's fairly certain that a foetus of this age can't hear a damn thing. "I'm acting like a child. I'm sure it'll all work out just fine." Her eyes are drawing closed as she speaks, she doesn't bother to try to stop them. She's exhausted, beyond exhausted even, and sleep is a welcome reprieve. 

She dreams of war and screaming and a child that glows so brightly it hurts her eyes just to look. She dreams of blond hair that flows with the wind and wide green eyes brimming with rage.

She dreams of blood and fear and a little girl caught in the middle of it all, warpaint smeared across her round face and a sword covered in runes held heavy in her tiny hand.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know I know I'm so sorry it's been far too long but I've got a new job working full time hours and it's been CRAZY BUSY but I wrote this out over the last couple days when I had the time and I'm sorry if it's a little disjointed, the only time I worked on all of it in one time period was when I was editing it lmao I'm the worst sorrryyyy xxxoooo


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kara’s confused. Like, 80% of the time. Lena’s falling back on old habits, and everybody else just thinks they’re idiots.

The first thing Lena notices when she wakes is that she feels like she's been riding a carousel going too fast, her head spinning and her mouth dry. She darts her tongue out to wet her lips, swallows roughly, rubbing the sleep from her eyes. 

What is she supposed to make of that? 

She feels like she's still dreaming, stuck watching with no choice but to let the events unfold before her. She'd been there. Her body felt heavy, in her dream, like it was made of lead and resignation, like the world had stopped around her and she couldn't do a thing about it. She remembers feeling anger, white hot and blinding, but she didn't know why. There had been no context, only emotion, so much hatred and rage and desolation. 

Lena winces, fingertips rising to massage her temples. She hurts, not just physically, but emotionally as well. Her head is pounding, she feels like she hasn't slept in a week. Her head sinks back into her pillow, and she closes her eyes tightly, trying to erase what she's seen by sheer force of will. It doesn't work, which isn't surprising. She lets a breath hiss through her teeth, and turns her head, opening her eyes.

Envy fills her as she watches Kara, face soft and relaxed. She looks so peaceful, almost like a child - carefree, or as carefree as Kara gets these days. Guilt replaces the envy, she should be glad that Kara's getting some rest, she shouldn't have wished her misery was contagious. Honestly, she's happy Kara's actually sleeping well. Really, she is.

With a frustrated huff, Lena pushes herself up against the headboard, hair falling over her shoulder. Her spine presses against the wood behind it uncomfortably. It helps, the pressure reminding her she's awake now. 

She tries to focus on relaxing her jaw, tries to remind herself that it was /just/ a dream, yet every time she closes her eyes she sees the little girl, geared up for war. There's no escaping the feeling of loss settling in her bones, or the memory of the moment the child met her eyes. Her expression had said everything, had drowned Lena in shame. She'd felt so helpless, bright blue eyes looking to her for guidance, looking at her like she hung the moon. It hit a little bit too close to home for Lena, a little bit too much like the way she used to look at Lillian, before the woman had betrayed her over and over again. 

A shudder shakes Lena's frame, a whimper filling the silence in the bedroom. It was just a dream, she tries to convince herself, it didn't even make sense. 

But.

Lena shakes her head, moving trembling fingers up from her temple to run through her hair, her other hand moves, almost on its own, to rest on her belly, the small, barely there swell of it. /I won't hurt you/, she tries to mentally project to the baby, /I won't/. Her gaze falls back to Kara, snoring lightly. 

She can't tell her. Normally - or well, she supposes not so normally, considering how closed off she used to be, she'd wake her and let Kara fix it, the way she somehow manages to fix everything. Something about this dream feels different though, feels wrong. Like a secret that she shouldn't tell.

She resolves to get up and start her day early, the idea of going back to sleep only to fall back into it doesn't really appeal to her right now. So with her mind made up, she slips out of bed, attempting to be as careful not to wake Kara as possible. 

She's not even two feet from the bed when Kara lets out a little whine, soft and needy, and pulls Lena's pillow to her chest, snuggling into it. A blonde tendril falls over her face, rudely blocking Lena's view.

She's not jealous of a pillow. That would be beyond ridiculous. 

There's a sweet smile spreading across Kara's cheeks, and Lena wonders what she's dreaming about. Probably puppies, maybe an all you can eat buffet filled with all of her favourite foods.

Lena snorts, letting her thoughts drift to Kara and away from her dream, as she reaches out to push the stray lock of her back, knowing she shouldn't let her hand linger against the warmth of Kara's cheek, still doing it anyway. Kara's sunlight is contagious, and Lena thinks maybe, just maybe she can catch some of it. 

She pulls away a moment later, sighing. She's got a million things to do today, and as much as she'd rather just admire Kara, that wouldn't be very productive, nor an appropriate use of her time. 

..

Kara wakes to an empty bed and lets out a put upon sigh. Of course Lena would leave before she could get some morning cuddles- the best kind, after mid afternoon couch snuggles. 

"Lena?" She calls out hopefully, only to be met with silence. Kara pouts and tries to hit her alarm as gently as possible (too many cracked screens for her wallet to handle), clambering sluggishly out of the tangle of pillows and blankets. There's a note on the nightstand by the bed, and Kara picks it up curiously. She can't help the undignified snort that escapes her when she reads it, a grin lighting up her features.

..

Kara, 

I had to leave early for work, but I imagine you probably were looking forward to morning company, so I hope this does the job for you.

Lena

..

It's followed with a crude attempt at a self portrait, where her head is too big for her body, and Kara holds it to her chest, heart fluttering for absolutely no reason at all. Friendship is great. Kara would rate friendship an eleven out of ten. Would recommend. 

She changes out of her Spider-Man pajamas, catching a glimpse of her reflection in the mirror. Her hair is a mess, sticking up in every direction possible, and she winces at the thought of combing out the knots. Maybe she could ask Lena to braid it before bed tonight. Not that she couldn't do that herself but, Lena has the most soothing way of scraping her nails through Kara's hair and it makes her feel like a kitten, which is totally normal. Well, Kara thinks it is, after all, that's what teenage girls do at sleepovers, right? 

Anyway. 

Kara ties her hair back in a simple bun, throwing on some slacks, a button up and Cardigan, and grabs her planner. 

She's only got twenty minutes before she's supposed to be at work for her next assignment, so she'll probably just fly today, as much as that would annoy literally everyone she knows. 

The second she gets to work, Snapper waves her over without even looking up. The office is buzzing as usual, people either working hard on following leads, brainstorming, editing or even arguing - and Kara can’t help the grin that spreads across her lips. She loves this place, loves the way it makes her heart race and stimulates her brain. Nothing short of a job this high demand and hectic could ever keep things interesting for her, and she knows just how lucky she is to be doing this. 

"Ponytail." He greets her, and she rolls her eyes but nods. A little respect, she thinks irritably, a little of her excitement leaking away, how hard is it to use her actual name? 

"Morning," she says back, but he's not even listening anyway. Stupid mean jerk guy. 

"I've got something for you," he says, and then shoves a paper at her stomach, which she grabs hastily, knowing he'd just drop it if she didn't. 

She scans the paper, her jaw dropping slightly, turning to look at him in shock. "This is a big story, and you're giving it to me?" She asks incredulously, and he finally lifts his gaze to glare at her.

"You want it or not?" He snaps, and she forces herself not to giggle about Snapper snapping. Of course she wants it, this is the story of a lifetime. Morgan Edge, corrupt business man crosses the line - there's apparently a source who's called in a tip that Morgan's actually hired assassins to get rid of the competition. If Kara can prove this, if she can make this exposé come together, she'll be one of the most well known reporters in National City.

 

"Uh-well, yeah! Of course! Um, thank you." She sputters, and Snapper just nods.

"You better not screw it up, Danvers." He says, and she tries not to let her chest swell at the sound of her actual name, just nods vigorously.

"Oh, I won't sir! You won't regret this."

"Make sure I don't." He waves her off dismissively and with new determination, Kara heads to one of the free phones, double checking the number on the paper before punching it in, all nervous energy as she waits for the source to answer. Much to her disappointment though, the phone rings out.

"Hey, you've reached Richard Greyson, I can't answer right now, leave a message and I'll get back to you as soon as I can."

"Hi Richard, this is Kara Danvers of Catco Worldwide Media, I'm calling because I hoped we could set up a time to chat." She's careful not to give away too many details, in case the poor kid - and he does sound like a kid, he's young for sure- has his phone tapped. She ends the call after leaving her number, and then sits down restlessly. This is the one part of her job that she doesn't love, the /waiting/. 

"Kara, what's good my dude?" Winn twirls his chair over to her, legs up as he uses his arms to manoeuvre himself forward. He lowers his voice when he gets closer to her, trying to be sneaky as he leans in and adds, "how's the bae?" 

Kara groans, hiding her grin behind her arm. "Winn," she mutters, "you are the opposite of subtle, shut up." 

He just raises both his eyebrows and his arms. "Sorry! Just curious. About you know what. Oh, I know, text me!"

"Or, we could go somewhere else? Instead of texting when we're sitting next to each other?" Kara laughs as Winn pretends to ponder it, finger tapping his chin. She gets to her feet and grabs his arm, tugging him along behind her.

"Hey, I didn't say yes yet!" Winn tries, and Kara just shoots him a look that has him instantly backtracking. "But I was gonna, so it doesn't matter. Because I was gonna. Please don't hurt me, I'm delicate." 

"I know, you cried the entire time that we watched Titanic." 

"Hey, that movie is sad!"

"Winn, you started crying during the opening credits."

"Because I knew what was coming!" Winn wails, "it's just not fair!"

"I still think there was room for both of them on that door." Kara mumbles, shaking her head. She shuts the door to what used to be one of the IT guys offices before they just gave them their own floor, and turns to him. "Lena's great, she left me this super cute note before she left for work this morning." Kara's heart warms just thinking about it.

"I was, I was talking about the baby. But okay, that's cool, Lena's doing great. I kinda knew that already since I called this morning but good to hear a second opinion, I guess?"

Kara's ears flush and she ducks her head. "Right, of course. Cause Lena isn't my Bae. And Bae was code for...?"

"Baby. See, I can be subtle!" 

Kara levels him a look that has him groaning and looking away. "You get drunk and tell everyone you're friends with supergirl /one time/." 

"The baby's good, anyway. Making her Mama sick a lot, but there's not much we can do about that- hey wait, maybe I can grab Lena some ginger before I go home tonight. She'd like that, I think. Lena wouldn't get it for herself, it's like she wants to suffer, sometimes i swear-"

"Yeah she does /not/ take care of herself." Winn hums, looking annoyed. "But she's Mama? What does that make you? Daddy?"

Kara flushes red and bites her lip. God, why is she suddenly imagining Lena calling her that, while passing her the baby? Why the hell is it making her /feel things/?

"We haven't really like, discussed it, but I think I wanna be Mommy. It's cute, right?" She quickly shifts away from that entirely unwelcome hit of feelings. She doesn't think about Lena like that. Lena's her friend. Her best friend. 

"Super cute." Winn nods, with false seriousness to his tone. "The cutest, even."

"I think so." Kara huffs, playfully shoving at Winn's shoulder. Kara’s been doing a crazy amount of thinking lately, a ridiculous amount of introspection and planning and obsessing - She’s usually an act now, think later kind of girl, but that’s not exactly a way to raise a child. The one thing that is abundantly clear, is that Winn is like a brother to her. A younger, tiny, defenceless breakable brother (she knows that’s not exactly the case, but she thinks about how those close to her are so easy to hurt so, so often) and she wants him to be the baby’s godfather. She hasn’t brought it up with Lena yet, but with everything the two have in common, murderous parents and about fifty suitcases of abandonment issues, she’s pretty sure they’re just as close as she and Winn are, if not closer. They understand each other in ways Kara will never understand, but that’s okay, because she’s just glad that they have somebody who gets it. Sometimes, she’ll see them exchange a look that’s so broken, so despondent that she has to look away, but also full of understanding. Of course Kara wishes she understood, wishes she could be that person for both of them, but the fact is, she can’t. It’s hard, heartbreaking even, yet there’s a reason things are the way they are, and she tries to think positively about it, as difficult as it sometimes is to be completely unable to be the hero they need in that way. Being Supergirl doesn’t mean that she can solve every problem thrown her way, unfortunately. 

"So you and Lena are okay then? This isn't weird for you two?" Winn breaks through Kara’s train of thought. 

Kara takes a second to think about that, and yeah, it's crazy weird, but lately just about everything is so it's not all that different from the daily grind, except at the end of this roller coaster ride you get a baby, and you have to raise that baby and what the hell kind of theme park is this- 

"Kara, hello?" 

"Oh! Sorry, Winn. I think we're okay, it was weird at first but if it's going to be anyone, I'm glad it's Lena." She shrugs, and that's the honest truth. Out of all of the people in the world, she can only ever fathom having a child with Lena. "The baby is gonna be so beautiful, Rao. I hope it gets her eyes, they're so pretty and sparkly." Kara nods to herself, missing the look of surprise on Winn's face. 

"Right, sparkly eyes. Definitely a feature that Lena has." Winn sounds a little startled, before he gives her a weighted look, "Kara, you know, you two are going to be together for a really long time, like living together and raising a baby, and Alex told me you share a bed-"

"Alex shouldn't gossip." Kara grumbles, not really sure where Winn is going with this. She already knows they'll be together a while, it's not like she ever once entertained the thought of not being a united parenting unit, so what's Winn getting at? That she hasn't thought this through? Of course she has!

"Yeah, okay," Winn rolls his eyes, "what I'm saying is that it's going to be hard for either of you to date anyone for a while-"

"You think Lena wants to date someone?" Kara all but yelps, the thought never having occurred to her. Who would Lena even date? The only people she spent time with were Kara’s friends, and Jess. Kara runs through a million possibilities at once, almost snorting when she considers James and Lena - ridiculous, but kind of funny. 

Winn's eyes widen and he shakes his head frantically, "No! No, I mean...I don't think so?"

"Oh Rao," Kara moans, burying her face in her hands before throwing her hands out to the sides, "She's pregnant, she wouldn't date anyone while she's still pregnant would she? She'd wait, right? Besides, she hasn't mentioned anybody, I mean to me at least, has she mentioned anybody to you?"

"She hasn't, um, look forget I said anything, okay? You're obviously not there yet." He turns on his heel and practically zips from the room, leaving Kara stunned in place.

"What does that mean? Winn! What does that mean?!" 

She stares at the empty space where Winn had stood, baffled. What I’m Rao’s name was he talking about? Not where? Ugh, maybe all this thinking was breaking her brain. 

Her phone lights up with a text from Lena asking for donuts, and Kara instantly brushed of Winn’s words in favour of being the perfect best friend, and immediately heads off to seek out the best donuts she can find.

 

..

Kara feels like her bones begin to sing the second she steps out of the elevator in L-Corp, like just knowing she's about to see Lena is enough for her heart to float above her body. It always feels like this when she comes to see Lena, and Kara can't lie and say she doesn't enjoy the feeling, because she does. It's a lot like flying. The bag of donuts is clutched tightly in her fist, and Jess smiles at her as she passes - so at least she hasn't done anything to offend her today. 

She walks straight into the office only to pause at the sight of an older man, salt and pepper hair, dressed in what must be a ridiculously expensive black suit, sitting opposite Lena.

"I'm so sorry, Jess didn't-"

Lena just grins brilliantly and stands. "It's okay Kara, we were just finishing up here. Kara, this is Bruce Wayne, he dropped in earlier than expected to talk about a contract we're collaborating on. Bruce this is Kara, quite possibly the best reporter in National City, and my lunch date today." Kara ignores her heart swelling at that and lets out an awkward huff of a laugh.

"Oh I'm not, I'm just-"

"You are."

Kara ducks her head, adjusting her glasses, her cheeks flaming. Lena’s always so sweet, she’s probably the one person in all of national city who thinks Kara Danvers is more impressive than supergirl, for some reason. It’s something that manages to surprise Kara every time she’s faced with it, because why would anyone prefer Kara Danvers over a literal superhero? 

Bruce stands and turns to face Kara, holding his hand out with a small smile on his face, eyes a little too probing for Kara's liking.

"It's nice to meet you, Miss Danvers."

"Likewise." Kara says, but finds she doesn't really mean it. There's something off about him that she can't place, and she's not sure she likes that he's just 'dropped in' unexpectedly on Lena. She's going to keep an eye on him, she decides.

Something in her expression must amuse him, because his lips twist upwards in a smirk, and he straightens his suit jacket before turning to nod at Lena, expression softening slightly.

"I'll speak to you soon, Lena. It was lovely to meet you." He sounds sincere, which throws Kara off as well. What's his deal? 

Kara grinds her teeth in frustration. People were so annoyingly hard to read sometimes, and she hates not being able to figure someone out. 

"I feel the same, Bruce. I look forward to hearing from you." Lena smiles softly at him, and waits for him to shut the door behind him before turning a brilliant beam on Kara, nearly blinding her with its brightness. Kara has to put actual effort into reminding herself to ask about Bruce, and she opens her mouth to but pauses when Lena opens her own mouth.

"I missed you," Lena admits, shifting a little, "I wasn't sure if you'd be able to get away."

"My source hasn't returned my call yet and I kinda need him to get the ball rolling, so it was either this or sit at Catco playing with rubber bands." 

"Well, I'm touched that you chose me over something so thrilling." Lena cheeks, and walks over to the couch to settle down. "I've felt awful all day, I don't know what I've done to offend this baby, but it's not happy with me." There's something guarded in the way Lena says that, and Kara frowns a little.

"Oh yeah? Are you alright, do you need anything?" Kara instantly dumps the donuts down on the desk and moves to crash down on the couch beside Lena, holding her head up with her hand, elbow resting on the top of the couch. 

Lena just shakes her head, twisting to mirror Kara's position. "No, I should be alright. I just didn't sleep very well, I think that might be why I'm feeling so dreadful."

"When’s your last meeting? Maybe you could take a nap after?" Kara suggests, happy to be able to think of something to help, no matter how small. Sometimes she wishes she could just wrap Lena up in a blanket like a burrito and cuddle the Lena burrito, keeping her safe and warm for the rest of eternity. But that's kinda not practical, unfortunately. Or at least, that’s what Alex said when Kara brought it up.

"It's in an hour. Horrible man, Morgan Edge, but I've been pushing this meeting back for a long time. I have to deal with him eventually, I suppose." Lena sighs, and Kara feels her blood run cold. All thoughts of Bruce Wayne fly out the window, she may not know his intentions but she knew for absolute sure that Edge was bad news.

"You're meeting with Edge?" She asks, frowning. Lena shouldn't meet with him, her brain is screaming at her, Lena should stay safe. Lena should let her take her home and wrap her up like a burrito. 

"Yes, apparently he's interested in some of the products we manufacture and wants to invest. I won't have a man like him among our investors, but I have to entertain the thought for show. I don't need any more enemies than I already have." Lena muses, chuckling. "There's definitely not a shortage as it is."

"Look, baby, I don't think that's such a good idea." Kara mentally slaps herself for letting that term of endearment fall into her sentence, but does her best to be casual enough to play it off before Lena notices, "The story I'm writing is about him, and he doesn't seem like the kind of person you'd want to be familiar with." 

Lena frowns, eyes swimming with confusion. "Well yes, I know he's not as clean as he claims to be, but this is just business Kara. I'll have one meeting with him and then never see him again. I'll be fine, really." 

Lena has shifted slightly away from Kara, and that will absolutely not do. Kara wiggles closer, pulls Lena in so that her head falls against the crook of Kara's neck. Lena doesn't resist, just snuggles in closer, and Kara could murder every single person who was around when Lena grew up for making her as touch starved as she is. 

"I just worry." Kara murmurs softly. "Probably too much, but I do."

"I know," Lena acknowledges, and moves so that her whole body is wedged against Kara's, "I worry too, you know. When you're out there as Supergirl, I always worry that you won't come back."

"Have a little faith in me," Kara smiles into Lena's silky hair, "I'm not going anywhere. I've got even more reason to fight now." She uses the arm not wrapped around Lena's back to gently touch Lena's belly, warm skin covered in a satin blouse. 

Lena makes a distressed sound and Kara's eyebrows knit together, concerned.

"Baby, what's wrong?" 

Lena just shakes her head, refusing to look up to meet Kara's searching eyes.

"I'm just entirely too emotional these days," She says, irritably. "That's all."

Kara's perplexed at the sudden change, but if there's something wrong, Lena will tell her. They've established that by now, surely. Right? 

"Okay. Do you wanna nap now? I can wake you up before the meeting, if you want."

Lena lets out a pleased hum and nods her head against Kara's collarbone.

"Yes, that'd be nice. Would you-"

Kara's already got her fingers in Lena's hair, carding through it gently, and If humans could purr, Lena was definitely doing it. 

"Thank you, Kara." Her voice is quiet, and it only takes a few moments for Lena to doze off, a warm weight on Kara. 

"that's what friends are for." Kara whispers into the silence, her words a little shaky, because that statement doesn't feel quite right anymore, but she can't put her finger on why exactly that is. 

Kara lets the slow rise and depression of Lena's chest guide her until she's feeling as calm as Lena must, sleepiness nipping st the corner of her brain, despite her best attempts to fend it off. A yawn stretches her lips, and she pulls up her phone to keep herself awake, scanning the lock screen to see her missed texts. She has one from Eliza, that's just a black haired girl emoji, then an emoji of a hand pointing at several heart emojis. The fact that Eliza has already decided she loves Lena has Kara over the moon. There's no such thing as too many people fighting for Lena. 

There's a text from Alex, that says 

Tell your baby mama that I miss her. We should all do lunch tomorrow. 

Kara smiles at that and types out a quick 

You betcha, Alex

The last text is from Cat, asking how she is. She sends a thumbs up emoji in response, because that will infuriate Cat and honestly sometimes Kara just can't help herself. It takes all of three seconds for Cat's number to appear on her phone, and Kara snorts in amusement, lifting it to her ear. 

"Hey," She whispers into the phone, mindful of Lena's sleeping body pressed against her own so snugly.

"Hey?" Cat asks, sounding thoroughly irritated. "Are you kidding me, Keira? You are a reporter, although now I'm wishing I hadn't gifted you that position considering you clearly have no way with words whatsoever. An emoji? You sent me an emoji? What are you playing at?" Cat is absolutely seething, and Kara grins into her hand. 

"Oh, I'm sorry," Kara bites her lip, "I didn't realise you didn't understand emojis-"

"Keira!" 

"Next time I'll be sure to send an explanation with the emoji-"

"I can have you fired so very easily."

"-so that we can avoid this kind of misunderstanding in the future-"

"For christ's sake, are you finished yet?"

"Yes." 

"Why are you like this?" Cat lets out a long breath and Kara can picture her pinching the bridge of her nose.

"No idea, born this way I guess." Kara cheeks, and listens for the telltale grunt of annoyance that leaves Cat's lips.

"Why are you whispering?" Cat asks, suddenly intrigued, and Kara glances down at the back of Lena's head, black hair spilling like silk across her blouse. 

"Lena's sleeping." She tries for casual, flippant at best, but Cat sees right through her.

"And you can't leave the room?"

"Weeeeellll....she's kind of sleeping on me. But not like that- just as, she's wearing clothes and we're in her office but she was sleepy so she's napping. On me, because we're very close friends." 

"I don’t recall a time I’ve ever napped on someone who was only a close friend.”

“Well you should try it, because it is really great. Super nice. Also, warm, warm and cosy. Loads of good reasons, Cat. Loads.” Kara’s voice breaks, and she feels her face heat the way it normally does when she tells a lie, except she isn’t lying this time so it’s confusing as can be. She bites her lip, glancing back down at Lena to make sure the slight raise in her voice hasn’t bothered her. It hasn’t, Lena’s still completely out of it. 

Cat clicks her tongue on the other end and chuckles. “I see.” 

“No, you don’t, cause you’re using that tone that means you’re being sarcastic and there’s nothing to be sarcastic about.” Kara practically whines, pouting. 

“Agree to disagree.” Cat sighs, “In any case, It sounds like you’re doing alright. I wanted to let you know I’ll be in National City next week, we’re going to do lunch.” 

Kara snorts, amused at the fact Cat is stating this rather than asking. “Are we?”

“Yes, /Keira/, we are.” 

Ah, so it’s like that now. 

“Okay, sure, when?” 

“Wednesday, twelve. I’ll come to CatCo to meet you, after all, I’ve got to make sure that James isn’t running my business into the ground.” 

“He really isn’t-“

“And I should trust your word for it, when you can’t even see what’s right in front of you? No, I’ll meet you there. Goodbye, Keira.”

“Bye, Cat.” Kara mutters, feeling the same confusion fogging up her brain as when she’d spoken to Winn earlier. Why was everybody acting so weird lately? It was so incredibly frustrating. 

Kara drops her phone into her lap with a huff, and turns her gaze back to Lena. 

At least one thing in her life makes sense.

**Author's Note:**

> This will be multi chapters, and tbh kinda slow burn? I might change my mind on that tho. Anywho I really hope you enjoyed reading this and let me know what you liked/didn't like and what you'd want to see coming up!
> 
> Also hit me up on tumblr, my username is Fuckregina :) also if you wanna see my super cool new tattoo or you like kids or whatever idk you I don't know your life, check out my Insta @amysusannahst no homo except lotsa homo


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